I Liked It Better When You Were a Heathen

“How would you feel about being my wife?”

I quickly withdrew my hand from his, moving my chair back in the process.

“You keep swinging for the fences, don’t you?  So now you want me to be your wife?  Don’t you already have one of those?  Oh wait, let me guess?  You two have an open relationship, right?”

I sat there with my arms folded as Mr. Griffin continued to make his case. 

“Michelle, I don’t think you understand”

“I think I do!  You may not be from Atlanta, but you’re just like the rest of these ninjas!  I think you’ve been watching too much TLC”

“That’s funny!  You didn’t think it was a foolish suggestion a few nights ago?  As a matter of fact, you championed the idea in college!”

“In college? That was nearly fifteen years ago!”

“Yes, but what about our conversations over the past month?  About never having shackles?”

“Sexual liberation and being wife number two are not the same thing”

“Why?  There would be no reason to sneak around on Khadijah”

“Yeah, but it’s not just Khadijah to contend with.  You seem to forget that I have a husband too”

“I haven’t forgotten.  He’s simply not a threat”

“Oh wow!  So you’re just gonna disrespect my man like that?”

“My apologies.  I wasn’t trying to be rude, but Ilias is a man”


“It wouldn’t take a lot to convince him to join in”

“Join in, as in swinging?”


I couldn’t help but laugh!

“Alonzo I gotta give it to you, you’re really trying!  My husband’s too much of a square for anything remotely like that! I can’t even get him to have sex outside the bedroom!”

“Have you two considered different alternatives to spice up your sex life?”

“Are you trying to be my therapist now?  I don’t discuss what goes on in my bedroom”

“Hmmmm.  I don’t know this new Michelle that’s sitting here, but the old Michelle wouldn’t be happy with the regular fuck.  Nah, the old Michelle loved to take risks, forever the exhibitionist!  Remember when I shared you that night at the strip club with Money Taylor?”

“I, I don’t think, I don’t think I recall that”

“Oh, and I guess you don’t recall when we cuckold that rich White boy at his apartment?  You convinced that fool to sit there and watch us, telling him that it turned you on!  And like a dumb ass, he sat there and watched me give it to you for damn near an hour!  That was crazy!  By the way, did you ever give him some?”

“Yes, and I’m ashamed of how I used to be!”

“You weren’t too ashamed driving his Range Rover all over campus!  Didn’t you end up fleecing an Acura out of ol’ boy?”

“No, that was the ball player”

“See?  Girl you were cold!  We had the time of our lives back then”

“You may have, but I didn’t”

“C’mon Michelle, you know you did!  You just started to suppress yourself after I took you to church.  That had to be the biggest mistake of my life”

“How?  I became a better person”

“You think so?”


“Baby girl, you changed for the worse.  We were living together and I had to beg you for sex all the time.  When you finally gave in, you would always cry afterwards”

“I was crying?”

“Yeah, you were.  I knew that our time together was over when you threw out all the porn”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t want anything getting in the way of my relationship with Christ.  I came from a Catholic family and you helped me find my way”

“I dunno.  Seems like the pastor helped you find your way.  You’d do anything he’d say.  You even broke up with me after a sermon you heard him preach.  Remember that shit?”

“Yeah, I remember”

“You kicked me out of our apartment saying that God was leading you down another path.  You didn’t even care if I had enough money to make it on my own.  It was what God said”

“I didn’t want to live in sin and that’s what we were doing”

“”Chelle, I was so mad with you!  More than that, I was angry with myself.  I liked you more when you were a heathen”

“Damn ‘Lonzo!”

“It’s true.  I wanted us to be forever.  We were compatible in every way.  Imagine my surprise that after two weeks, you had moved on to some cornball musician who you eventually followed to Atlanta.  I was devastated”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, but it seems that you rebounded rather well”


“Yeah, you’re married now.  You’re doing well for yourself”

“You still don’t get it and maybe you don’t want to”

“What am I not getting?” 

“Despite how we ended, I never stopped loving you.  Every woman that I have attempted to have a relationship with knows that the bar is you.  Even Khadijah”

“You told your wife about us?”

“Yes.  There’s no reason for me to lie”

“And she still wanted to marry you?”

“Not necessarily at first.  But once we floated the idea of us together to the media, our popularity went through the roof!  People started taking her seriously as a solo artist.  I started having meetings with men that really moved the needle.  My label started to reach a stratosphere I never thought I’d see.  So taking the next step was a no brainer”

“So you’re in a loveless marriage?”

“I mean, I do love money, and I do love my lifestyle.  Now that I’ve experienced all this wealth and power, I can see why men jump off buildings and shit.  You can’t go back to average after having the best.  Besides, Khadijah and I can invite who we want into our bedroom as long as we both know about it.  All participants have to sign consents and abide by our rules”

“You don’t get worried about people not wanting to leave or stalking your home?”

“We have several places designated for those encounters, none of them being a primary residence.  There are secret entrances and exits”

“Uh huh”

“Still don’t believe me?”

“Nah, I don’t”

“Tell you what.  When you have the designs ready tomorrow, come to our office.  Khadijah will meet with you and tell you herself”

“You really expect her to sell me on sleeping with you and cheating on my husband?”

“You’re already doing it emotionally when you’re texting me every Thursday night.  I’m sure that video of you masterbating didn’t come from thinking of him now did it?”

I shook my head as one of his attendants knocked on the glass door.  He looked at his watch and stood to his feet.

“Seems like I’m behind time for my next meeting.  I must say, I’ve enjoyed our little chat.  I’ll be waiting for your answer tomorrow night”

“You seem pretty confident it’s going to be a yes”

“I know that you’re tired of living a lie.  While Ilias may be a good man, he doesn’t satisfy you sexually and hasn’t bothered to up his game.  I’m not asking you to leave him, simply offering you a reprieve”

Before I could formulate a response, he had buttoned his coat and flown out the door.  I sat there, attempting to process everything that had been said.  As I reached for another water, Candice came in the door.

“How did everything go, Mrs. Owens?”

“Everything is okay.  Why do you ask?”

“Khadijah looked like she was upset while A-One looked like he had won the lottery!  Murph looked giddy, but he always looks like that when money is in the room!

“Well Candice, if I meet this twenty four hour deadline, you will need your own assistant”

“I can get with that!”

“I know you can!  Now go get my sketchbook and pens.  We got work to do”

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