“Who is it?”
I couldn’t hear the response, but Hamilton began to unlock the door without hesitation. I closed my eyes as my heart plummeted to my stomach. I didn’t need this kinda drama tonight, Jesus! Please don’t let it be Calvin, Jesus! Please!
“I’m sorry ma’am, but I believe you have the wrong address”
“No, this can’t be the wrong one. This is 65 Lewis Court right?”
I opened my eyes to see that our surprise guest was a young Caucasian woman, standing in the door way looking quite perturbed to say the least. I could see Hamilton petitioning for my assistance.
“Good evening. What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am, my instructions specifically state that this man is supposed to be dropped off here and . . .”
“Wait. What man?”
“The man that’s in my car. One of his buddies from the bar called him a ride home and said that this was his address. I was informed to take him straight home”
“I’m sorry, Ms . . .”
“Caroline. Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but he needs to get out of my car. I have another pick up and he reeks of alcohol. And to make matters worse, he’s a touchy, feely drunk! He’s been trying to rub up on me the entire ride! If he doesn’t belong to you, can you find out where he needs to go?”
Hamilton’s face said it all. He was getting annoyed with this Uber driver with every word that came out of her mouth. I refused to let this magical night be interrupted by a misguided adolescent. So, I did the righteous thing in order to preserve the night.
“Babe, let’s go see who it is. Maybe we can help her?”
“Help who? This is not our problem”
“Baby, if we help her now, I will help you later on”
I licked my lips and gave my lover a wink. Before I could say another word, Hamilton took the lead, marching down the driveway. As we drew near to the car, the man inside managed to get out, but fell in the street in front of my mailbox.
“See? This is what I’ve been dealing with all night!”
Hamilton and I came closer to the passed out passenger. As I looked at his clothing, he seemed very familiar. Then as I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned on his side.
“David? What the hell?”
“So you know this guy, Naomi?”
“Yes. He’s my next door neighbor’s son. David, what the hell were you thinking?”
The younger driver interjected.
“Okay, so you know him! Cool! That means that you can take him home right?”
“Ummm, no ma’am”
“But I have another pick up that I’m gonna be late for”
“Tell you what. We’ll help get him in your car and you can drive him next door. My boyfriend and I will make sure that he gets inside. You can do that, can’t you?”
I didn’t have time to adjust Ms. Caroline’s attitude. I needed to get David in his house so I could get back to entertaining my company. However, getting David off the street was not an easy task. For some reason, I thought that I would be able to get him back into the car by myself. But the young lad played football at some college in Texas, and it showed. I struggled just to get his arms up and moving.
“Just leave me here. I wanna sleep”
“No David. We’re the only Blacks that live on this street. You’re not gonna make me look bad! You gotta get up! C’mon David!”
I could hear Ms. Scrawny getting more frustrated by the minute. Before I could ask him where he was, I saw my hero unbuttoning his shirt.
“Naomi, I’ve got him. Caroline, open your trunk”
“Open my trunk?”
“Yes. Trust me, it’s the best way. I can get him to stand and push him into the trunk with his legs hanging out. That way, when you get him to the door, all we have to do is stand him up again”
“Hamilton, have you done this before?”
“Don’t ask any questions woman. Just hold my shirt”
Lord have mercy! Brother reminded me of Denzel in that wife beater. I looked over at Caroline who was busy admiring as well.
“Uh, excuse me Ms. Caroline. Shouldn’t you be in the car ready to drive?”
She hopped her young ass in, while Hamilton struggled to get David near the trunk. They were almost there when the unthinkable happened.
“No he didn’t just throw up all over my back? No. He. Didn’t!”
After he took a couple of deep breaths, Hamilton pressed on and got David into the trunk of the car. He motioned Caroline to drive next door while we walked next door. Hamilton was trying not to be upset, but the way the back of his shirt was stained? And by someone he didn’t even know? I knew dessert would have to be saved for another night.
I rung the door bell, but there was no answer. I rung the door bell again. Still no answer. Then I knocked on the door for several seconds. Still no answer. I looked over to the car and Hamilton had gotten David back to his feet again. As soon as they were clear of the car, Caroline hauled ass down the street.
“She could have at least waited until we got him inside”
“Naomi, these kids don’t care. Now a better question is what are we gonna do with your neighbor’s son?”
“There’s gotta be a key around here somewhere”
I started looking under the mat and under the plants, but there was nothing. I ran to the back of the house to see if there was something there as well. Nothing. When I came back to the front, I could hear Hamilton panting loudly.
“Naomi, this brother is heavy! I may have to just drop him here in the yard and let him sleep it off”
“No Hamilton. We can’t do that”
“Why not? It’s the natural consequence for over indulgence. Or we can turn a hose on him. Wake him up that way”
“Come on baby. We can’t be like that. Let me check his clothes. His key has to be on him”
“Hey David? David? You got a key on you family?”
And in that brief moment of clarity, David stood on his own feet and reach into his pocket. He started to walk to the door, but the alcohol still had his strength. Hamilton anchored the young man while I took the key and unlocked the door.
“I got it David. It’s gonna be okay”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
For a man to be so big, David sounded like a little child who wanted to atone for his sins. I held the door open while Hamilton guided him to the nearest bedroom. I heard the bed creak and knew that everything would be okay. Hamilton emerged from the room sweaty, smelly, and slightly irritated.
“Baby, I know this isn’t what you had planned”
“This is true. Very true”
“Thank you for helping with David tonight”
“Does he normally come home wasted like this?”
“No. I’ve never seen him like this. However, I heard through the grapevine that his mom had filed for divorce”
“That’s never good”
“No it’s not. I remember when I had to tell my kids that their father and I were going to separate”
“I thought you never married?”
“I didn’t. I was in one of those common law arrangements. He lived with us. My son was too young at the time for it to affect him. However, my daughter loved her dad and it tore her apart for about a year”
“But that’s a big boy!”
“But that’s still his mother and father. No matter how old, it’s never an easy situation”
Hamilton nodded in agreement as we walked into the house. I gave him a towel and directed him to the guest bathroom so that he could clean himself up before he left. I did the same. I took off my sundress and put on my sleep shirt thinking that my night was over. I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to feel him inside me tonight, but I was happy to spend this time and learn more about his world. He definitely gave me something to look forward to the next time we met up. I made myself comfortable on the couch and turned on HGTV.
“I see someone got comfortable. You ready for me to leave now?”
“Well I thought . . .”
Before I could finish, Hamilton had walked over to the couch in his entire birthday suit!
“I told you I didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow morning”
Written by the Wednesday Gentleman