I Can Love You Better . . . . .

“He’s not yours until he puts a ring on your finger bitch!  So until then, may the best woman win!”

 

That was a good comeback right?  Awwww c’mon on y’all! What would you have done? Yeah, I could have been the bigger woman and let Angelica walk off into the sunset with Chance, but Kyla Cunningham ain’t built like that!  That’s my man!  I saw him first!  As far as I’m concerned, she doesn’t even deserve him!  How she gonna violate the girl code by trying to creep with him after I slept with him?!  Nasty ass ho! And I betcha’, I just betcha, she was dressed in some little skimpy shit showing off her ass!   

 

Now I hear ya’ll whispering . . . . being all judgemental and shit!  Mumbling under your breath about what you would’ve done!  Condemning me for sleeping with Mr. Wonderful because I’m married?  Hmmph!  But how many of you have slept with a married man trying to make him your own?  Oh and don’t use that line that he never told you! See girlfriend, I’m real with mine! On paper, I know I’m married.  But in my heart, I’ve been divorced since the first day that negro put his hands on me.

 

I wish I’d never met Derek!  If the cards would have been dealt differently, our paths would have never crossed.  But love is a funny thing. No one takes too kindly to being rejected. That’s what happened after that evening with Chance.  All my insecurities were magnified. The little self-esteem I did have evaporated.  And after that night, I refused to love again.  So I did like many others and looked for a man who could provide me all the security a sista needed. That gave way to Derek.

 

Like all Mr. Wrongs, Derek Miller came into my life when I needed him the most . . . . literally. I met him one evening in the checkout line at the Dollar Tree.  Earlier that morning, Marcus had gotten himself expelled from yet another school.  When the principal called me to pick him up, I immediately told my supervisor I needed to leave. When I informed her I would be back in two hours, the brown haired lady asked me not to come back. So there I was, standing in line with a shopping cart littered with off brand pop tarts and spaghetti.  When it was time to check out, my debit card was declined! I knew I had fifty dollars on there, but the cashier said otherwise. I couldn’t go home with nothing! I was near tears when this beautiful, soldier of a man broke through the line and purchased my groceries for me!  I was beyond grateful and thanked this broad shoulder Samaritan repeatedly as the cashier rung me up.

 

The generosity continued as he escorted me to my car.  While he pushed the cart, he uttered those magical words that every woman longs to hear:

 

“You’re too beautiful to be out here struggling by yourself.  Why don’t you let me be your savior?”

 

Well . . . . . .  he may not have said it quite like that, but we ended up going out the next night.  You would think he didn’t have a life the way he called and texted me!  He was like a little puppy wanting all of my attention! Mr. Miller made me feel wanted again. . . . and it was nice!  When I asked him what he did for money, he only said that he was in the military. My spidey sense told me that for the amount of property and cars he owned, he was doing more than serving our country.  And like most of us, I refused to listen to my intuition and let Derek have me. At first I didn’t mind. Derek was hung quite well. The sex often left my body feeling like I had been in spin class for two hours!  So when he asked me to marry him, what was I supposed to say? No?  I should have said no . . . .

 

So what do you do when you find out your new husband has a gambling addiction? What do you do when you catch him sending dick pics to other women? I should’ve confronted him right?  I should’ve beat him with a skillet right? Well beloved, I tried to stand up . . . . and got knocked the fuck out!  My jaw never did set back right after that night. After having to give an excuse to the paramedics and the staff in the emergency room, Derek mastered hitting me in places that were hidden to the naked eye.  I can’t tell you how many times my ribs were bruised. How much blood I coughed up from the gut punches. So when he got his assignment overseas, I saw my chance to leave and move back to my mom’s house. Now I haven’t figured out what to do when his crazy ass comes back, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Today I had to win my true love back. . . . . .

 

I continued to sip on my Chardonnay as I waited for my prince to arrive.  In true fashion, Chance didn’t disappoint. He was so beautiful to me. He was dressed in a vintage Michael Jackson t-shirt with some black cargo shorts.  His sunglasses hid the fact as to whether he was happy to see me or not. He had to applaud my efforts! Plus this White sundress and hat was giving me all the power I needed.  He could see all the goodies in the bakery. All he had to do was say the right thing to have some of my cake . . . . .

 

“When I said I would discuss the issue with you, I meant when I saw you again . . . in Georgia!  Girl what in the blue blazes made you fly out this way?”

 

He hopped on the stool next to me and took off his shades.  He asked the bartender to bring him some Johnnie Walker. It seemed like he guzzled the shot before it even left the bartender’s hand!  Then he ordered another!

 

“Chance, is something wrong with me being here?”

 

He stared at me for a few seconds and quietly shook his head.  He knocked back another shot before he began to address me.

 

“Is there something wrong with you being here?  Woman, you’re married! There is something definitely wrong with that!”

 

The old red head poured another shot.  Before Chance could consume another, I held his hand and asked him to slow down.

 

“Chance, I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble”

 

“Ummmmm, then why are you here?  Why did you travel all this way?”

 

“First of all, I’m not one to cheat.  I’m not that type of woman. I have a little more class than that!”

 

“So you’re not married?  Tangie just made that up?”

 

“I didn’t say that.  Technically, I’m still married”

 

“So emotionally you’re single . . right?  You don’t love him anymore and he won’t sign the papers?”

 

“Yes, emotionally I’m detached from him.  Have been detached for almost the entire length of our marriage”

 

“So what do you call the other night?  I mean, you took a night that I had envisioned for years and reduced it to a drive by fuck! And now, I know why!  You had to get back home to him before he started blowing up your phone!”

 

“That’s not it Chance!”

 

“You know Kyla, you didn’t have to sleep with me!  We could have had dinner and been on our way as friends”

 

“But I want to be more than just friends Chance!  You have to let me explain!”

 

He pulled his hand away from me and shook his head in disgust.  He pulled out several bills from his wallet and paid the barkeep.  He grabbed his shades and started to descend from his seat. I had come too far to let things end like this!  I did the only thing I could do . . .”

 

“This is why I left early Chance . . . . .”

 

I lifted my dress to expose the half dozen bruises and cuts around my torso and upper thigh.  I watched his shades fall to the floor. His eyes grew three times their normal size as he looked at my body in the sunlight for the first time.  Instead of being outraged with me exposing my ass to the general public, I could see him trying to hold back his tears of anger. He took his hands and guided my arms down.  Then he held me in his arms as if he never wanted to let me go. We stood in that bar for several minutes . . . him holding me. Me crying on his shoulder.

 

“Kyla . . . . I had no . . . . . . How long has this been going on?”

 

“Honestly Chance, it’s been going on for the entire marriage.  I didn’t find out he was abusive until I found out he gambled away the savings account I had for the boys.  When I confronted Derek about the issue, he broke my jaw!”

 

“Derek?”

 

“My husband’s name is Derek Miller.  He’s currently away in Afghanistan or one of those Middle Eastern countries”

 

“So you just couldn’t leave?”

 

“I tried to leave one time with the boys.  We didn’t even get out the house! He started whooping my ass in front of the boys.  When Marcus tried to help, he slammed him through a wall. Ever since that day, I’ve just done like he asked”

 

“So let me get this straight.  All of you are living at your mother’s house?”

 

“No baby.  When he got his assignment and left, I took the boys and we headed to my mother’s house”

 

“Does he know you’re with your mother?”

 

“No he doesn’t.  I go to our house once a week to check the mail and make sure that the yard stays in order.  I can’t have those association tyrants causing me any problems! That’s the real reason why I couldn’t see you in concert”

 

“Wow Kyla . . . . that’s a lot going on”

 

“So I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth before.  I didn’t want our conversation to center around me”

 

“Well it is a worry.  You shouldn’t be living in fear Kyla”

 

He grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes.

 

“Kyla, you’ve put me in a very difficult situation”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He showed me back to my chair, and then sat beside me.

 

“I’m confused.  Both you and Tangie have come back into my life . . . .  at the same time . . .”

 

“You don’t know who is best for you?  Who really cares for you?”

 

“The problem is I care for both of you.  You were the woman I always wanted in my life.  You made me feel like a man . . . . .Tangie is the . . . . . .”

 

“Tangie will not go to the end of the Earth to prove her love for you!  Chance, I took my mortgage money and bought a ticket to see you out here!”

 

“Say what?”

 

“I know . . . .”

 

“And just how did you know that I was staying in the Four Seasons near the Hollywood Bowl?”

 

“Well good ole’ Uncle Charlie did a video via IG and I saw the hotel in the background”

 

“So are you like a part time detective too?  Cause you had to be looking hella hard to see that Charlie was at the Four Seasons!”

 

“Too be honest, when Angelica threw that orange juice on me saying that she was going to take you from me, I had to go all out!  My dear old cousin said that she was going to be meeting up with you in LA. I just needed to know where”

 

“Wait a minute?  She threw orange juice on you?”

 

“That she did!  When I told her I was gonna tell you the truth, she tried to punk me!”

 

“Tell me the truth?  About what?”

 

“That she’s a gold digger!  That if your new deal falls apart, that she will dump you like a garbage man”

 

“And how do you know this?”

 

“Because she’s my cousin!  She’s been doing this shit for the longest!  She bleeds a brother dry while he’s riding high.  Then when he gets too old to play ball or he’s forced into retirement, she’s gone like the wind”

 

I could see the wheels spinning in Chance’s head.

 

“I mean, why else would she want to reconnect with you now?  When she saw you in the restaurant, she was simply sizing you up.  You guys are no longer the opening act, you guys are the headliners. And the fact that you’ll probably be up for several awards this year for songwriting only wets her appetite”

 

Chance just shook his head.

 

“I didn’t come all this way to upset you baby”

 

“Oh you didn’t huh?”

 

“Baby, I’m only telling you all this because I love you”

 

“Say that again please?”

 

“Chance, I love you.  Even if you don’t love me back. I don’t want to see you get hurt and abused like so many others have.  You’re too good of a guy to be used”

 

“And you’re too good of a woman to be abused.  Tell me, are you staying in town tonight? When is your return flight home?”

 

I didn’t want to say . . . but I had no other choice.

 

“Chance, I didn’t have enough money for a room.  My plan was to meet up with you and tell you my truth.  If you chose me, then we would watch the sunrise together.  If not, then I would just take my rental car back to the airport and either sleep in the car, or in the airport.  Either way, I would be fine and there would be no regrets”

 

“Damn . . . you’re risking a lot Kyla!  That dude will find out that the mortgage hasn’t been paid.  And there is no way I’m letting you sleep in a car when I have this huge room upstairs”

 

“But isn’t your assistant sharing the room with you?”

 

“Nah, he has his own room.  Too old to be sharing a room with a dude”

 

“This is true”

 

“So how about this?  Let’s have something to eat in the restaurant.  After, you let me treat all those bruises on your body . . . . .”

 

Written by the Wednesday Gentleman

 

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