“So can I defend myself before you tar and feather a sista?”
Everyone that was in earshot nodded in approval. I was being forced to justify my decision to stay with Derek. I would have been able to avoid this entire conversation if I would have simply driven to his house. Instead, I was making the walk of shame to my station. I just had to stunt and have the ladies see me climb into his new Bentley yesterday. I didn’t expect to leave my car here overnight. Hell, I didn’t plan to spend the night! Let me stop lying, I did. . . . .
“Well ladies, in today’s world of dating, finding a “good man” is damn near impossible! Most single women my age complain that they can’t find a decent brother anywhere! Am I right about it?”
The congregation nodded.
“Of course there are a plethora of men out here, however some of them are still stuck in their childhood, expecting us to do everything their momma did! Regardless of their baller status, some dudes run away when it comes to taking responsibility for their life or anyone else’s they bring into the world”
One of the patrons shouted out, “Preach sista!”
“Dudes like this tend to be complete jerks, who disrespect women, ignore our needs, and break our hearts (e.g. my son’s father with his no good ass!) Then you got these “soft-body” brothers that don’t stir up any passion”
Another customer chimed, “They can’t fuck for shit! Little dick having motherfuckers!”
Everyone in the shop laughed except for the owner of the salon, Dina James. She was glaring at me like my mother did whenever I said something smart. The glare was normally followed by a pinch or a pop in the mouth. Dina was several stations down so I kept on speaking my truth.
“Don’t get me wrong ladies. I would love for a brotha to cater to me and all, but I also want a man who can fuck me like a champion! With pickings being so slim in the A, is it any wonder that I can’t leave that fine pharmacist alone?”
I could see that I was winning the critics in the shop over. Derek had three indispensable qualities going for him. One, brother was making that good money. Two, my doctor was built like an Athenian god! And finally, above all, he took care of his daughter. So what if his soon to be ex wife was a little crazy? I wasn’t about to give up my number one spot so that another could slide in! I was going to go through the storm and come out as Mrs. Cantrell! Just as I was about to do my happy dance, Dina had to ruin the party!
“So wait a minute Sheila. You’re still going to date this man?”
“The man with the looney ex that came to his house and tried to fight you?”
“And you’re not afraid of her coming after you again?”
The other patrons looked in my direction as I digested Dina’s question. It deserved a valid answer.
“God’s got my back! Besides, if that crazy heifer stepped to me out in public, I’ve got a stun gun for her ass!”
“So you don’t believe that your knight in shining armor is sexing her too?”
“If I believed Derek was still hitting his ex on the side, I would have left him alone”
“Sheila, this situation seems a little toxic. Personally, I think staying away is the best thing”
“Well Dina, he thought the same thing initially until I convinced him otherwise”
“Hold up! You did what?”
“I convinced him! Initially, he wanted me to stay away until he got the matter resolved. The brother didn’t even return my phone calls two days after the fact. So to get his attention again, I came over to his house dressed in that red thong he likes with some dinner. We didn’t even eat dinner that night . . . . well . . . I didn’t! At any rate, I told him that I understood his dilemma”
“So let me get this straight? You popped up on ol’ boy two days after the brawl for it all? You probably sent him into a panic!”
“There wasn’t any panic when he had me for dinner on his dining room table!”
The congregation had spoken. Edith, the client who I was working on bellowed, “See that’s why you can’t leave him alone! That tongue game so good you willing to risk your life for it!”
Everyone shared in the laughter except for Dina. . . . again.
“It’s not just the sex y’all. Brother is intelligent, good looking, and cares about his daughter. It’s hard to find men like that nowadays”
Dina looked at me as if I had said something wrong. She finished her client and made her way over to my booth.
“Look Sheila, I get it. I really do, but you’re not thinking straight girlfriend!”
“Dina, do you remember the last guy that courted me?”
“You mean the Black IT guy?”
“Yeah the one that couldn’t keep it up! And then when he was up, wanted to act out old slave scenes?”
Dina tried not to laugh.
“Girl I still can’t believe he said that to you!”
“That shit traumatized me Dina! Because of that situation, I haven’t wanted to be with another man until Derek. I’ve been guarding myself because of all the mistakes from my past. I’ve finally found a man that pays attention to me. Who actually listens and remembers what we talk about. He’s articulate and doesn’t make fun of me if I don’t understand his extensive vocabulary”
“I hear you Sheila, but that ex of his is trouble! Aren’t you the least bit worried that she will come up in here and start something with you?”
“It’s a public place”
“Yeah but that hasn’t stop crazy folks before! You know about all the school shootings. If she came in here, it would not only present a danger to you. It would present a danger to everyone else as well”
“I understand, but I got it handled”
“How? Didn’t you say she scratched your car? Can’t she track your license plate? A bullet is faster than a stun gun”
“I don’t think she would know how to track my plates. Besides, it’s been over three weeks and there hasn’t been a peep from her. As a matter of fact, Derek said that Ann agreed to sign the papers if he would not file charges against her. So like I said, no worries”
“Okay . . . . I’m just trying to look out for you and Jon Jon”
“I thank you for having my back, but I got this. Really . . . ”
“If you say so Sheila. I don’t want you to end up like the others out here”
I finished up Ms. Edith and headed out for lunch. I needed something quick as I had a little less than an hour before my next appointment.
It was a beautiful day out so I decided to take a walk to Legal Sea Food around the corner. I could get a quick bite and be back to the salon before my one o’clock appointment. I walked through the glass door and took a seat close to the bar. The bar was close to the exit into the lobby of the hotel, in which there was another exit several feet to the garage.
The waiter came with my complimentary water and menu. As I looked over the selection, I didn’t pay attention to a figure that walked up in front of me. No doubt it was the server returning, or worse, some dude trying to hit on me! I didn’t have the time for it today as I needed to be about my time. However, chills went through my body as a familiar voice called out . . .
“You mind if I sit with you?”
I looked up from the menu and there she was . . . . Ann, my nemesis and now, stalker! Every part of me wanted to run, but she was far from the wild haired succubus that I encountered several weeks before. She was dressed like she had some class about her. She was non-threatening and seemed earnest in her speech. So I did what any good Christian woman would do . . . . .
“Sure, but I’m not staying long. I have a one o’clock appointment”
Ann sat her bag down in the chair next to me and took her seat. For a few moments, we sat in complete silence. And then she began . . . .
“Look, I’m not here to start any trouble. I’m coming to you, woman to woman, asking that you leave my husband alone”
I stared at her intently before I spoke. I was looking for the crazy in her eyes, but I didn’t see it. Not yet anyway.
“Ann, Derek made his choice. He wants to be with me. Besides, he said that the two of you had already signed the papers”
“Well yes, that’s true. But the judge has yet to sign them. As a matter of fact, the judge asked us to work out our differences to see if the marriage can be saved”
“Ummmmm. . . that’s not what Derek told me . . .”
“Did he tell you that the day before I came over that we had sex? Did he tell you that we’ve been having sex off and on since he left the house?”
“As a matter of fact Ann, he confessed that he had sex with you several times after you threw him out of the house. When you decided to manipulate him using your daughter, Derek said that he went to his attorney and stopped having sex with you as well. That’s been almost a year”
“Did he tell you why I kicked him out?”
“Yes. He said that you believed that he was sleeping with all the female staff at the pharmacy. He said that you came into Walgreens and made a scene, screaming at the staff and even the people in line!”
“That’s because he was sleeping with all of them! See you’re not the first woman I’ve caught sleeping with my man! Derek is a liar and a cheat!”
“Well if he’s all that Ann, why are you here? Why do you want him back?”
“Because he’s the father of my child dammit! My daughter deserves her father to be in the house with her!”
I could see the makeup starting to crack, allowing me to see who she really was. For some reason, I felt no fear and I egged her on.
“But if he’s a liar and a cheat, wouldn’t you want a divorce? Why would you want your daughter growing up with a father like that in the home?”
“Shut up bitch! Shut up!”
The waiter came over and asked if everything was okay. Ann, already approaching ten, disregarded him as well.
“We didn’t call you over here buddy!”
“Ma’am, please lower your voice”
“Or what? You gonna call the cops on us just for sitting here like they did in Starbucks? Well I’ll tell you what buddy, I’m not going out like that!”
I tried to appeal to her inner self.
“Ann, you’re making a scene. Would you want Angel to see you like this?”
“Bitch, you keep my daughter’s name out your mouth! I’m her mother! You think because you did her hair that you’re her mother now? Hell naw!”
Everyone in the restaurant began to take notice of what was going on at my table. I slowly started edging out of my seat and moving toward the exit. Ann quickly went to her purse and pulled out a gun!
“Bitch if you don’t sit your ass back down, everybody dies!”
Written by the Wednesday Gentleman