She’s Gotta Have It

Everything was settling into place . . . . . or so it seemed.  After subjugating my demons, I was finally back on the road to promise.  Despite my mind trying to convince me there was no hope, love rescued me and gave me a family again.  I happened upon a woman whom I love unconditionally.  Regardless of her past and the laundry that came with it, I dealt with her truth and pledged my allegiance all the more.  So much so that I asked her to marry me the day after she announced her pregnancy (How the walls shook that evening?!).  Although unexpected, my seed is now all of three months and I still can’t imagine life without him!  Eventually, me and Tiff moved out of Athens and purchased a house in Grayson where no one knew our past.  I even switched jobs, leaving the boys in blue for a less volatile gig. Caterpillar added me to their management team with a pleasant signing bonus!  Plus, I was doing some contract work for the Alexander Group as they prepared to unveil a Black owned bank in the Classic City.  Yep, everything was falling into place . . . . .  until she came through the church doors this morning . . . . .  


So you’re wondering who she is right?  Let me give you a little background.  During my stint at the halfway house, Olivia Duncan was my addiction counselor.  When I first laid eyes on her . . . . . . man, man, man!  I couldn’t imagine this vessel of perfection being a listening ear for me!  She was a walking candy store!  From her full, red cherry lips, to her sweet, caramel toes, Mrs. Duncan was all of that!  As a matter of fact, she was the first Black woman I sexually desired.  But when I saw that golden band encircling her finger, I refused to see her as a sexual being.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall for the old banana in the tail pipe again!  So every day I would sit in group, but say little to nothing. It would be a month before I opened up to Olivia and the group.  Through the time spent, my adviser helped me get through the months of voluntary confinement.  She allowed me to be vulnerable in our closed door sessions without passing judgement.  Whenever the employment rejections would become too much for me, Olivia was there to lead me back to the light.  She was there to remind me that I belonged to Him, and that everything would be alright.  When I was eligible to leave the mission, tears ran from her eyes.  Our hug was long, as if we were lovers saying goodbye.  I could feel her lips on my neck while her breasts were pinned against my chest.  Although her action was a bit intrusive, I didn’t give it any thought thereafter.  That’s where I left it.


So fast forward to me and Tiffani living together.  Life became a bit more complex when I found out about Tiffani’s past.  It was already an uphill battle being an interracial couple. What I couldn’t manage was having to deal with co-workers and Joe Blows off the street telling me how good my woman tasted.  How fat her titties were.  You name it, I heard it! So after that day that I walked out on Tiffani and the Bishop, I found myself living at the gym, literally!  The darkness was attempting to draw me back down the black hole. Plunging myself into personal fitness kept me in my right mind.  My morning consisted of a 5:30 a.m. wake up call, gym from 6 a.m. – 7 a.m, shower, breakfast smoothie, then catch the transit to work.  After dealing with the eight hour bullshit, I was on the bus and back to the gym. I would lose myself in the crowd and my music, sweating my problems away.


As fate would have it, I ran into Olivia and her husband at the fitness center several days after.  I spoke to them both before I proceeded to my chest workout.  After completing a set on the incline press, I could see the good counselor watching me in the mirror. Checking for me with a mischievous smile on her face.  Even with her significant other nearby, her nipples told me that she liked what she saw.  Her braids were somehow tied into two long ponytails as if she were still in grade school.  The perspiration glistening off  of Olivia’s abs made me fantasize about her being underneath me.  Like secret lovers, we exchanged smiles before I started my next set.  When I looked back in the mirror, my audience was gone.


That next morning, I made my way to my favorite elliptical.  Dreams of yesterday still encased my eyes so I didn’t recognize who was on the row ahead of me.  That is until I was four minutes into my workout.  As my vision became clearer, I began to notice that same frame from the mirror the day before.  


“It couldn’t be her?  Could it?”


It was hard to tell as this mystery lady had on a baseball cap and an extra large sweater that stopped right at her ass.  As she maneuvered her way through her exercise, I couldn’t help but stare at what she had been blessed with.  She motivated me to the point that my thirty minutes felt like ten!  As I began my cool down, she dismounted and began to cleanse the sweat from her machine.  She flashed a smile my way as she disinfected the grab bars.  After doing so, she proceeded to stretch, touching her toes and grabbing her calves so that I could have a better look (Thank God for black tights!)  She was clearly taunting me, but I couldn’t take it there.  I just couldn’t!


I quickly jumped off the machine and proceeded to go over to the treadmills.  I needed to get away from her.  But more than that,  I needed to run off this hard on I had.  My escape plan worked as my silent beauty exited the door.  Then it dawned on me.  What if she was really stretching and not trying to turn me on?  What if all of this was my imagination?  That I just needed to feel wanted because of what was going on between myself and Tiffani? Yeah, that was it!  I slowed down my pace and walked for a few minutes before ending my workout early.  I tossed my towel in the bin and headed back to the hotel to change for work.


As I turned in, I saw a burgundy Range Rover sitting idle in the hotel driveway.  When I walked past, guess who stepped out of the truck?  Yep, you guessed it!


“Christian!!!  I’m surprised to see you here!”


I took off my earbuds and gave her the side eye.


“Seriously?  Didn’t I just see you in the gym?”


“Well, yes you did!  I wanted you to notice me in my tights, but you didn’t say anything to me.  Even when I bent over, you just ran away!  I thought we were better than that?”


“Better than what?  I’m confused?”


“Christian, do I need to spell it out for you?”


“I think you do Olivia.  I like things in black in white”


“Okay, let me make this clear Christian.  I want you inside of me. . . right now!”


This had to be some crazy ass dream!  First Tiffani, now Olivia?  This felt like déjà vu, but without the church!   Were all women this aggressive now?!


“Mrs. Duncan, I’m flattered.  Tremendously flattered.  But you know we can’t do this right?  Me? You?  Sex?”


“What are you worried about?  We’re already at the hotel!”


“Yeah, but I’m living here and I really need to get going so that I can get to work on time”


“But haven’t you ever fantasized about the two of us?  You can’t tell me you weren’t turned on that day you caught me watching you in the mirror.  I know I was!”


“Maybe Olivia, but you’re married and you were my addiction counselor”


“And that’s okay Christian.  My husband won’t find out.  It’s not like the work staff here is gonna say anything!  They barely know English!  And if anyone sees us, we can just say that this was an emergency counseling session”


“Like I said before Olivia, I’m flattered but I can’t!  I thank you for your interest, but I need to get going”


Before she could utter another word, I put my earbuds back in and headed toward my room.  I closed the door and quickly took off my clothes.  I needed to clear my mind before heading into work.  As the water made me forget about my troubles, I felt someone climb up behind me.


“What the hell??!!!!”


“I’m sorry Christian, but I’m used to getting what I want . . . .”



Written by the Wednesday Gentleman



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