My home girl has an interesting dilemma. After several years of revolving one night stands, Aisha says she’s ready to give all of her attention to one man. Now since we’re family, I’m going to tell you that I don’t believe Aisha. Hell, I told her myself when she called me last night! You see, I’ve known Aisha since grade school. Her family lived around the corner from me and my ace, Chase. Even back then, Aisha wasn’t known to be the kinda girl that you could just tie down. Truth be told, Aisha’s temper kept quite a few suitors from stepping to her. I wish I could say that her dismissive, “no fucks given” attitude has changed over the years but nah, it hasn’t. So what’s the dilemma you ask? Well, there are two men she wants to settle down with . . . . . .
Option 1: Jay
Aisha and Jay met at local bar in Midtown several months ago. Aisha was hanging with her girls celebrating a win in court when a tall, delectable, presence came through the door. Aisha stated that she could hear his body calling for her as Jay made his way to his seat. His stature was similar to LeBron James and all Aisha could think about was how to get underneath him! After receiving approval from her giggly cohorts, Aisha sent over a drink. After the barkeep informed him who the drink was from, Jay made his way over to Aisha and her friends. Jay had confidence in his walk which only made Aisha tingle more than she cared to let on. She tried to cover her excitement as she was at full attention but it was too late. Jay’s simple greeting turned into an introduction of his life. Aisha and Jay conversed until closing time. Jay had forgotten about his guests as he was lost in Aisha’s eyes (wink wink). The night ended with Jay taking Aisha home . . . . and getting her off.
Although Jay’s bedroom performance was subpar, he was able to treat Aisha to all the things that she ever wanted. The first week was dinner and a live band. The second week was two dozen roses sent to her law firm. The third week was the Jill Scott concert followed by a weekend getaway to Cancun. Even though Aisha felt things were moving pretty fast with Jay, she liked being envied by her social media friends. She was finally attaining all the things in life she wanted. However, there was something wrong with her fairy tale; she didn’t know anything about Jay. Yes, she did know his occupation. Yes, she knew his political affiliation. She even knew his middle name! But outside of the dinners and island trips, Aisha didn’t know who Jay was! She hadn’t even asked him if he was married! Although her mind was telling her to slow down, the giggly cohorts were encouraging her to continue with Prince Charming.
Option 2: Terrence
Now Mr. Option 2 was far from the typical guy that spun around on Aisha’s carousel. According to Aisha, Terrence was attractive but slightly under her six foot requirement. Aisha met buddy in one of her online groups. Outside of Terrence being an adjunct professor, he played in a cover band on the weekends. Although outspoken at times, Aisha found herself gravitating to him. She found herself mentally stimulated every time Terrence posted a thought. It was only until he sent a message to her inbox that she knew the feelings were mutual. Despite living two hours away from each other, they decided to meet halfway at a bistro. Aisha felt herself falling for Terrence as he listened intently to her every word. During their conversation, Terrence began to rub Aisha’s feet. Lunch begat a weekend getaway. Aisha was so at peace that she couldn’t help but fall asleep every time he held her. His arms and confidence gave her a security that she never felt with any other man outside of her own father.
Although Terrence provided security and attention, he still didn’t fit the mold of what Aisha normally dated. He wasn’t a baller. He wasn’t all that tall. Yet, Aisha felt secure. She believed that Terrence had her best interest at heart. However, Aisha’s feminine alliance believed that he was beneath their level.
“So what do I do Michael? And yes, I know both of their middle names . . .”
“It seems like Terrence is good for your soul”
“Yeah, but he tries to change me. He’s always asking questions about my past and what makes me tick. Why is he asking about things like that?”
“He’s trying to paint a picture of who you really are Aisha. What’s wrong with that?”
But I already knew what was wrong. Terrence challenged everything about her. Like I said at the beginning, Aisha’s a bully and is used to getting her way. She wouldn’t be able to do that with Terrence. As a matter of fact, Aisha went on to tell me that Terrence actually stopped talking to her! According to her report, he told Aisha that she was not ready for a relationship (imagine that!?). If she could not reciprocate patience and be open with her feelings, she was not ready for him.
“Can you believe that he said that? I mean . . . . what da hell does he know about me?! I make almost three times what he brings home! He should be thanking me for talking to him!”
I just sat on the phone laughing to myself.
“Well if he’s that much of a hassle, then why is he even being considered? I mean it seems that Jay is the one you should be with?”
There was a long pause before Aisha answered.
“But what if Terrence is what I need? What if he is my balance? Why couldn’t he just be taller? Damn!”
Needless to say that our phone conversation didn’t end with an answer. I don’t think that I was able to shine light on her situation. As a matter of fact, I think I made the situation worse. So as a good friend, I told Aisha I would pose the question to all of y’all. Who do you think Aisha should choose? Should she date Jay exclusively or should she date Terrence? Why? And no, your answer can’t be date other people . . . . . .
And yes, I believe she should still choose Terrence . . . . . .
Written by Michael Dock, Founder of The Wednesday Gentleman and Author of the Forthcoming Novel “Addicted to Chaos”