The Power of the Cookie


I can see you smiling fellas. . . . . . . . . .


I have to say, this is my favorite scene from Empire thus far!  When Taraji aka Cookie Lyons reveals her body nestled in lingerie  . . . . . . then turns around and smacks that beautiful, curvaceous, mouth watering ass . . . . . . my lawd!!!   Cookie is the kind of woman I would go to war for.  And before you say it’s all because of her ass, no it’s not.  Cookie brings added value to the table.  She is a hustler, a go-getter who won’t stop at nothing to become great.  She’s an aficionado of music, anticipating which songs will be a hit and which ones will not.   She is a crafty promoter, knowing how and when to put on a show to capitalize on her artist.  Cookie Lyons is that chick that you want in a boardroom as well as the bedroom.  Unfortunately . . . . . . . Cookie only likes “bad boys”.  I mean look at her ex husband, Lucious, who is a killer.  Then there was pretty boy from CSI Miami who infiltrated Cookie’s company after kidnapping Hakeem.  Hell, we didn’t even get a chance to find out if Derek Luke’s character was a true good guy or not.  Knowing Cookie’s record with men, he probably had three baby mommas in other states filing for child support . . . . . . . . .


Cookie Lyons is similar to a lot of females I’ve encountered.  Many proclaim that they desire a man who will treat them right and take care of home.  While the public is led to believe that the call for good men is not being answered, the dark reality is that these prized unicorns are not being sought after.  For whatever the reason, the “good guy” (let’s call him Tito for now) is stuck in the background waiting for his turn to shine.  After a while of playing the background, Tito becomes discouraged.  After observing the moves of his brothers who are in the limelight, Tito begins to practice their moves.  The more he practices, the more he gets added to the center stage.  After perfecting the dance routines, Tito finally gets a chance to sing!  Once he becomes acclimated to the lights, Tito has no desire to dwell in the darkness with the other musicians ever again.  You see where I’m going with this?


Despite the influx of relationship memes and thought provoking quotes that litter social media daily, the dating culture is only getting worse.  The Titos of the world have grown weary of playing second and have begun to emulate the “bad boy” image.  This is why it now goes down in the DM.   So how do we stop this madness?  It’s rather simple: Change the game.  How do you do that?  Simple.  Promote Tito to be your headlining act and have the bad boy play triangle next to the drummer.  I hear what you’re saying ladies: “All the men I give my cookies to are good guys”. Oh really? So is that why you’re on your third divorce? Is that why you visit your boo in jail every other Saturday?  Now I’m not knocking your previous mistakes.  We fall down, but we get up.  However, only a fool continues the same course of action and expects a change.  So ladies, I challenge you to change the game.  


It’s amazing how much power “we the people” have but fail to exercise it.  The media manipulates and takes away a woman’s power.  Think about all the images that are consumed on the daily that go against who you truly are.  Think about all the stupidity that you watch that blurs the gender roles and makes the “bad guy” appear to be the premium catch.  Ladies, the male species observe your likes/dislikes in order to eat your cookies. Buddy may not be able to buy pampers for his child but he will buy some Jordans to impress that broker who comes into Starbucks daily.  We observe how you are actually treated.  We see how you fall in love with a different guy every three months and complain how he didn’t make time for you.  If that is what you continue to report on social media, males will become that dude just to steal your cookies.  


A few weeks ago, I brought in the New Year watching Chiraq. Although Spike goes all over the place at times trying to cram a billion issues into a two hour film, the main point comes across.  And while I’m not a fan of a woman withholding her goods from her man, I saw how much power women actually have.  To bring a problem that has gone on for decades to a halt in six months?  That’s power!  The women exercised their power and won the back the city.  So why isn’t that happening now?


Now I know what you are thinking.  This ninja is such a hypocrite!  Didn’t he say that a woman couldn’t change a man?  Yes I did.  Making verbal threats and being manipulative with the cookie is much different than allowing the cookie to be influential.   Ladies, you all have been influencing men since the beginning of time.  For example, I’m inspired by Oprah Winfrey.  Although her childhood wasn’t a Hallmark movie, she became successful. Despite obstacles placed in her way, she overcame them.  She didn’t become satisfied in her success.  Instead, she took on the test of running her own network and opening a school abroad.  She puts on programming that can inspire, uplift, as well as entertain.  A woman like that who hustles and strives for the best only makes me want to go hard for my dreams.  Even though she doesn’t know me from Adam, I’m watching her . . . . . . .


So back to the challenge . . . . . . Ladies, how can you influence the dating culture?  Do you believe that if more women took time out for Tito aka the “good guy”, we could get back to some normalcy in the dating world?  Are you willing to change what you watch and hear in order to find that good guy?  

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