Remember when we used to dream about being adults? Mannnnnnnnnnn what the hell were we thinking? With the added responsibilities of work, finances, and parenthood, most times I just wanna stay in the bed and get lost in cartoons (yes I still love to watch cartoons . . . ). When I was much younger, I was in such a hurry to grow up. My friends and I would often sit on the “green box” watching the dope boy cars go by dreaming that we were behind the wheel with the booming system in the back. We imagined being the ones rocking the new Nikes every week instead of Cugas. Those dreams gave me comfort as my stomach growled most nights in protest.
Everyone has dreams. Whether you desire to be the next Barack, Serena, or Fetty Wap (did I just say Fetty Wap?), everyone has aspirations. Aside from starting a free thinking revolution, I also dream of that compliment to give me balance and help pay these bills! And even though things look bleak in the dating department right now, I feel that when I roll out of bed each morning I’m getting closer and closer to all my dreams becoming reality. So in the selection of a better half, it is imperative that I have someone who respects my vision, is secure in herself, and encourages me to be all that I can be. Someone that makes it easy to take it easy, youknowhatImean? However, I know that there are sorcerers out there that have been sent to abort my dreams. I call these people dream killers.
Let’s keep it one-hundred: It’s hard to say your dream aloud to yourself let alone share that information with someone else. I’m not talking about the typical bullshit you see in the media on a post. I’m not talking about an idea that has been regurgitated so many times that it’s the norm. I mean actually realizing what your true passion and purpose is and conceding to it. Your purpose can cause you to leave a six figure engineering gig just to toil as a case manager for a non-profit organization. Your dreams could cause you to leave your family behind and teach English in China and you don’t know a lick of Chinese! More often than not, your dreams cause others discomfort because they are comfortable with you as is. Instead of expressing good wishes, they will do everything to attack the vision. You know who they are. . . . . .
In today’s dating world, most of the single combatants have experienced a dream killer. I don’t know about you but my dream killers never appeared to be out to get me. They were dressed as if they were apart of the clergy. That is until the lights went out and the spells were cast. I’m pretty sure that Mike Tyson felt the same way about Robin Givens. Ms. Givens, or as I like to call her the mother of dream killers, preyed on a man with low self esteem and took him for pretty much everything he had. Her goal in life was to be rich. His dream was to be the best boxer the world had ever seen. And before he met Robin, he was. After, he was a shell of himself.
Like Mike, you can tell those who have experienced these witches and warlocks by the deep scars in their backs. Most will tell you that their significant other set out to kill their dreams because of insecurities. Other dating combatants will not tell you their story. Instead you will see them walking aimlessly, having a debate with someone who is not there. These individuals suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, believing that anyone that gets near them will stab them again. Their souls are in limbo because they are unable to trust. And rightfully so. When you’ve been a victim, it’s hard to put your life back together again. Imagine someone deferring your purpose by five years. Ten years. Fifteen years. Most times people feel there is no more hope and they are merely existing rather than living. That dream of being Serena is not so bright when you are forty-five.
So what can you do when you have experienced a dream killer? If you’re like me, you have to pick up that dream and press forward. Picking up the vision again is similar to the movie Mission Impossible. Doubt and fear buy tickets in your mind and taunt you mercilessly. Yeah, you’ve lost some years but that vision that will change the world is still waiting to be birthed. I put down my purpose for almost ten years because I had dream killers who came in and told me that I wasn’t good enough and I should just stick to my nine to five. I’ve had dream killers who refused to support me and took all the money that I had to further their dreams. But purpose is still alive in me. So even though my heart may be fearful, my mind is dragging it along as I push toward destiny.