You Say She’s Still Your Friend . . . . . .

Chastity has found herself in quite a predicament.  She’s in love with a married man. . . . . well not exactly.  Will used to be married to Monica but they have been divorced now for eight years.  Chastity has been attracted to Will since she first saw him at church.  As much as she craved to be underneath his strength, she respected the union of Will and Monica.  Through the church, Chastity found herself working with Monica as they both volunteered in the homeless ministry and actually grew into friends.  However once Will and Monica parted ways, Chastity and Monica’s bond drifted apart as well.

While Will was finding himself again, Chastity was in and out of relationships trying not to think about being happy with her friend’s ex.  She continued to stay busy with her children but as they grew, she found herself thinking about Will.  Even as she dated, married, and divorced again, Will was in her thoughts.  Chastity would post messages and pictures on Facebook hoping that Will would comment.  She would even go out of her way to make sure that she showed off her “blessings” at every service in order to catch Will’s eye.  Accepting the bait, Will would normally send Chastity a text after service complimenting her which would lead to some sexual banter but nothing more.  Every time Will would push the envelope, Chastity would offer a defense as to why she couldn’t give into the Sunday temptation.

Last Sunday, Chastity ran into Will at the local Wal-Mart.  Prior to coming into the store, Chastity was given a Dear John letter via text by yet another male imposter.  As if he could sense her depression, Will embraced Chastity in a way that was only meant for lovers.  Embarrassed by enjoying the hug so much, Chastity stated that she was in a rush and continued to shop.  Despite her efforts, she kept running into Will throughout the store.  After spending twenty minutes of playing hide and seek, Will pulled alongside Chastity as they were both looking for the shortest checkout line.  Channeling his inner Barry White, Will made his plea.  “We keep trying to deny this lady.  Why don’t we give each other a try?”  Flustered by Will’s honesty, Chastity retorted with a smile.  “I can’t date you Will.  Monica is my friend”.  “Your friend eh?” Will responded in amazement. “I don’t think that you owe her a thing.  She’s moved on with her life.”  Chastity could see the earnestness in Will’s eyes.  He didn’t take his eyes off of her.  This was no longer a playful exchange that they would have whenever they passed each other in church or at a rec league game.  Will was making a claim for Chastity and she didn’t know how to handle it.  Finally she said “Monica’s my friend.  I can’t do that to my girl.  I hope that you understand.”  Will, dejected with the whole chase, nodded in defeat and attempted to find another register.  Chastity however couldn’t get over what just happened.  “What the fuck did I just do?”

Now how many of you would have done just like Chastity and told Will to kick rocks out of respect for their “friend”?  I see you, I see you.  With any subject matter, I posed this question to others to get their feedback.  In the case of Chastity, many agreed that she should date Will as Monica is no more than an acquaintance.  One lady stated that she would be riding Will as we speak! Others stated very plainly that once a friend, always a friend and should never date the ex.  My ace joined in the convo and said that it sounded as if Chastity was just trying to find a nice way to let Will down.  My immediate response to that was why in the hell would Chastity continue to flirt with Will? Is she nothing more than a tease?

In my world, friend is a term that gets thrown around rather loosely.  I have very few friends but I have a million and one acquaintances.  Outside of my children, my friends know who I really am.  My friends have been there at my highs and have picked me up when life threw me to the ground.  Even though it seems that we are worlds apart now, they are the only ones (outside of my kids) that can call me day or night and I will answer.  Acquaintances . . . . eh, not so much. So for me, Chastity doesn’t have an issue. Monica is not her friend, she’s an acquaintance.  A co-worker. A fellow member at the church. However Chastity sees Monica as a friend and Will can’t fight that.  He can only respect that.

I do believe that there is something else that is forbidding Chastity from dating Will.  I believe that if Monica is like most exes, Chastity doesn’t want the drama (duh duh duh duhhhhh).  There is nothing worse than dealing with the immaturity of a person who is on the wrong end of a break up.  We all know that ending a relationship is never easy.  It’s similar to being fired from a good paying job that you took for granted.  I can imagine Monica making life tumultuous for Will.  Driving by his home at all times of the day.  Calling and hanging up at late hours of the night.  Stalking him through fake accounts on Facebook.  Having her friends spy on him.  So even though Chastity didn’t lead on to whether or not Monica was cray cray, I tend to believe that she is.  That’s the only real reason why Chastity would stay away from Will and not be considered a tease right?   

So where does all of this leave Will?  Was he wrong for asking Chastity to give him a try? What do you think about dating a friend/acquaintance ex?  Should the possibility of success in love be scratched because of a friend?

This should be interesting . . . . . . . . . . . .

By the way, if I were Will I would have sung this song right here for Chastity . . . . .

One thought on “You Say She’s Still Your Friend . . . . . .

  1. I would have to say she neglected her own happiness worrying about what could have may be been said. Who knows Monica may have been a little on the crazy side, but she could have also been mature enough to know that she was not reals life partner, but a seasonal challenge that they both learned from. So I believe she should have given him a chance he was only asking for that. Besides based on everything else pointed out, I believe she wanted that chance as well and when it came, fear took over her and she ran for the hills only wishing then that she had rethought her decision to say no.

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