“I can’t do this anymore!”, she said aloud. Cynthia sat on the end of her bed as she saw the engagement announcement of Anthony and his new boo pop up on her timeline. The count was now up to four. This had to be more than just a mere coincidence. Several months had passed since the dissolution of their relationship and Anthony was now getting engaged? Really? Prior to the break up, Anthony informed Cynthia that she was oppressive, manipulating, and clingy. He couldn’t change for her anymore. Anthony went on to explain that while he loved Cynthia, he couldn’t be with her. “How could he have found someone to take my place so easily?” she pondered as she looked at the newest pictures he posted with his fiancee. “Hell, he ain’t all that anyway . . . .f@#k him!” Cynthia began scrolling through her contacts. “I’ll show him!” She continued her search to see who would be her medicine to ease this despondency she was now feeling.
As she began to dial, thoughts ran through her head of all the good times that she had with Anthony. That time she surprised him for his birthday at the steakhouse. That Valentine’s Day where he had a wonderful picnic lunch set up in the middle of the house surrounded by rose petals. Memories of their numerous sexcapades began to echo in her mind. Now someone else would be privileged to his tongue and long armed strokes. As the phone fell from her hands, she slowly began to cry. She wanted to be Mrs. Jones so badly! She gave her all! And just like the other three, he left her. Just like the father that abandoned her and her mom before her tenth birthday. Of all the things that her father said before he left, he never once told Cynthia that she was beautiful . . . . . .
Let’s take a quick poll. How many of you say that Anthony had no right to leave Cynthia? Put your hands down. Now, a show of hands that say that Cynthia is to blame for Anthony’s departure? If you said that Cynthia has the issues, you are right! Now I know some of you may disagree but I want to point out some facts that were mentioned. First, this is the fourth time that Cynthia has had an ex to leave her and marry the next woman. Not one. Not two. Four. Second, instead of processing what Anthony told her and taking self inventory, she was ready to call the next guy. (Hell if she’s like most, she has already moved on to next guy . . . which will be number five) Second red flag. Third and probably the most important, she is still having to deal with not feeling beautiful in the eyes of the man that was most important to her . . . . . her father.
Cynthia’s story is one that I’ve been hearing with more and more frequency lately. Honestly, I don’t understand this new phenomenon. Who wants to be the one to coach a person to their full potential only to have them go to another team? I get Cynthia’s confusion. I really do. I believe we all know at least one Cynthia that is known to be that coach who sets most men up for The One. But why is that? And before I go on, please believe that it is more than just women that play the role of what I like to call the set-up chick/man.
In baseball, there is a person that comes in to the game right before the closing pitcher. This person is often referred to as the relief pitcher or the set-up pitcher. The set-up pitcher comes in toward the end of the game but is not trusted enough to close the game with a lead. The set-up pitcher is expected to maintain the lead/status quo for one or two innings. After, he gives his hard work to the closer that receives all the glory and honor. I’m not into baseball outside of the playoffs and World Series, but it’s funny that life has it’s own relief pitchers. Most of the relief pitchers come in the day after you change your status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”. However, these set-up men and women never close the deal. Why is that?
At some point in this dating life, we all play the role of the set up pitcher whether we know it or not. The fact that some of us major at being a professional set-up man/woman, says something about us more than the other person. In Cynthia’s case, she’s played this role for far too long but refuses to see her part in it. Why do you think Cynthia continues to be the set-up chick? She really needs your help . . . . . .