Talk like Sex

When it comes to sex ladies, I’m sure you all think that us men folk are simple creatures and easy to please, and
when it comes to sex, yes, we men are simple creatures – other than food, sex and silence (feed me, f*ck me and shut the f*ck up) our goals seem very attainable, don’t they? We aren’t too picky.images

While that’s true for checkers, that’s also true for sex. You see it doesn’t take a lot to arouse us, that’s why the hint of flesh, and the possibility us of being able to peek under your skirt, will have us dropping pens, pencils and $1’s just so we can get a peek at your love below.

It’s no secret most, if not all men like head Georgia dome, sloppy toppy or Bank Head, if you will. Wars have been started and civilizations have crumpled all because of some good mic checking. There isn’t a man alive, except, maybe a eunuch, that would turn down some good topping off. Bonus points for not only being a cheerful giver, but taking pride in your skills. Trust me there is nothing worse than a reluctant tipper. Oh, one more thing, the only thing better than a cheerful giver is one that does it enthusiastically without being asked.

You see ladies head, not music, calms the savage beast and the real way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach, (we have McDonald’s for that?, it’s your ability to say ahhh.

Now since this is a give and take world, I am fully aware that is not all about you showing us your no gag reflex. I understand that there are some things that you like as well, and I can admit that because of both our egos, we may not always be open to some coaching or suggestions.

So fear not, since Breazy loves the kids and strippers more than T-Pain, 2 Chainz and Drake, I am going to hip you to some ways to satisfy your man’s fantasies and how to introduce and satisfy your fantasies to your man as well.

The male psyche, which is not for the faint of heart is very fragile, isn’t designed to hear criticism. Our minds aren’t equipped to hear we aren’t “doing it for you.” But at the same time, if you don’t tell us what you like and how you like it, we’re not going to know. Doing the latter can lead to his manhood shrinking he may get upset and a chair might be thrown, next thing you know a Rugby match breaks out where Lil’ John jumps out of nowhere shouting repeatedly four times, ”hit that hoe, hit that n*gga.” This could be problematic. I mean, who wants Lil’ John in their house? Can you imagine telling this loud ass n*gga to use his indoor voice?

So the moral of the story is, please be forth coming in the beginning. Every man wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed: I mean the nastier the better – if the shit isn’t outlawed in the 48 continental United States and Hawaii and Alaska then you aren’t a real freak.

We aren’t equipped to hear that our lady has tried something that we ourselves wanted to be the first to introduce her to, and scratch off our list. So just to keep the peace you may have to do some lying just to make us feel like we are the ones that taught you that cartwheel Karma sutra position.

So how do you go about expressing your fantasies to your man? That’s easy, first make him feel like he’s the first one that you wanted to try out your fantasy with. Second, express to him to him how it’ll add excitement in the bedroom. Once we are feeling good about ourselves with visions of breaking headboards dancing in our heads then you can introduce your fantasy.

Now if the fantasy is too freaky, like licking the butt, assuming you are into that kind of thing, that may take an act of congress or a 5th of Rum. Other than that everything is a go, oh and stay away from poking, prodding or sticking anything in our assess, if you have a man that’s willing to go along with that, you might have a problem on your hands.

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy.

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