Since last Wednesday’s blog, I’ve taken part of several interesting online debates regarding mental stimulation and the whole “make it easy to take it easy” concept. Yes, I still find intelligent and confident women sexy but there is a little more to the sauce than that. In order to make it easy, there has to be intellectual stimuli and balance. Yes, balance, because one can’t assume that a mentally stimulating person knows how to balance his or her life. When I think of the word balance, I imagine a gymnast and the amount of skill he or she has to possess to steady themselves. Whether it is on a beam, still rings, vault, or floor exercise, the movements require harmony between body and mind.
When I started yoga early last year, I struggled mightily trying to balance myself in various poses. (I won’t get into the struggle it was just to go into the class . . . . ) The issue was not getting into the pose, but the struggle was maintaining the pose. I remember my mat being soaked with sweat after the first twenty minutes of the class. Nothing teaches humility like trying to stand on your right leg with your left foot flatly pressed against your right thigh! And what followed on that first attempt is what normally happens when we are not used to balancing ourselves; we stumble. Now I’m too cool to fall but I made it a point after the initial class to be able to steady myself to complete all the movements. Of course I was afraid of failure and then being the only guy in class most times is enough to deter anyone. However, the more I tried, the more I was able to complete most of the movements without stumbling. The first couple of times I needed blocks and additional mats to complete the movements. Close to the end of the year, I was able to do them all on my own.
Now in order to be in a healthy relationship, one has to step into the yoga room of life and be able to balance. Creating harmony between life and love is always a challenge which requires constant work. Prior to taking that yoga class, I really had difficulty trying to find balance in my life. To be honest, I was kind of shitty at it. Everything centered around work. After I graduated college, I found myself working two jobs to make ends meet. No time for love. When I finally slowed down to get married and have kids, I still worked two jobs. No real time to devote to my family outside of checking homework and saying prayers before bed. Even when I was in high school, I nearly flunked out because I couldn’t handle being in love and getting an education! Important things like homework and routine classwork took a back seat to big booty daydreams and staying on the phone until I fell asleep. . . . . . .
Since I found yoga, I’ve found it hard to date females who refuse to balance themselves. Notice that I said refuse. When a person doesn’t know how to balance, they end up having too much weight on one side. And we all have encountered those people. The super super religious folk that can’t go anywhere outside of church? You know those super super complainers who will criticize and lament about the same issues for years despite how much advice you have given them on those same issues? Yeah, those people. It is my belief that these individuals don’t believe in having a purpose. And it’s not that I am so career driven that I make this statement but I have had a hard time trying to get out my dreams in relationships with females that don’t know their purpose. Why you ask? Because I then become the purpose. Now, I do like my ego stroked. Granted. What guy doesn’t? However, things become a problem when that female starts to cut off her friends and family and makes you the primary focus. That then triggers you to have to spend every moment outside of work with her only because now she has no friends and she has no purpose outside of paying her bills. So trying to go to the Falcons game with the fellas becomes a chore because all she has is you. That for me is a problem.
As I hold on to this meteor which seems to be crashing into my forties, it seems that I’ve finally got a handle on the balance thing. Even as my workload increases, my dreams begin to take shape, and my personal life actually becomes alive again, I’m keeping the important things first. Now if I can just find my Beyonce . . . . . . .