In times like these, I miss love. Let me rephrase that. I miss Black love. Now I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures of the Black man in a push up stance with his woman on his back at least once on your timeline. Better yet, you’ve seen pictures of the Black man embracing his earth as if it was his last breath. There’s something about a man holding his woman that resonates with me. The embrace is more than just him holding her. The embrace symbolizes security. It symbolizes strength. It seems that nothing can come in between the bond that is there. No matter the circumstance, no matter the consequence, both he and she will be there for each other until the end of their days. I often imagine myself as that man experiencing that love. That standing with his queen together through all kinds of weather love. That real, forgiving, withstanding all others, love. That going to church together, having Sunday dinner together, getting lost in one another after the kids are with the in laws kinda love. The love that makes you wanna do right when you wanna do wrong. You know, that love that I talked about at the end of last week’s blog?
Sounds good doesn’t it? What the media doesn’t tell you regarding this love is that in order to experience it, you will have to endure hardships. You will have to go through many storms. Most closed minded people live in a fantasy world in which they believe that love just magically appears. There are no weather men talking about love will come after the typhoon blows over. No one ever discusses how the hurricane will impact a couple growing closer together. Naw, we look at the storm and head for cover. We’ll run to another place and abandon our relationship because we can’t imagine living through the tempests of life. We don’t want to persevere therefore we can’t enjoy Black love. We refuse to buy rain coats and umbrellas because we can’t imagine standing in the rain for long.
In all honesty, I’m convinced that most people are in fact are love haters. Better yet, we are storm chasers. We can’t stand for others to be happy in their relationships. Think I’m wrong? How many of you were on social media calling for the end of Robin Thicke and his wife, Paula Patton? Better yet, when the rumors were swirling about Jay and Bey having turmoil during their tour, how many Beyhive citizens were praying that Beyonce would become a single mom? Finally, how many of you thought that Nick Cannon’s union to Mariah Carey was a mistake and are giddy with glee to see it fall apart? You don’t have to raise your hand but I think you understand where I’m going.
It was amusing to see exactly how many people were quick to give their two cents regarding the Robin Thicke/Paula Patton tornado. People were quick to state how bad Robin was having Miley Cyrus grind her no having ass on his crotch. Then when word came that he was attempting to get his wife back through song, people absolutely hated the effort before even hearing it! From talking about how he shouldn’t have put certain things in the “Get Her Back” video to his song choice selection, the tweets and blogs went after Mr. Thicke. Robin spent several months trying to get back a love that had been cultivated since high school. I can only imagine being in a relationship that long and the trials that they both went through trying to get their careers off the ground. In a span of twelve years, Robin went from being the guy on the bike riding through New York to being lost without you to being blurred with success and heartbreak.
Now Robin is not a Black man but I believe you get the gist. Please understand that I do not promote cheating on a spouse, however I am smart enough to know that things happen. Remember females tend to want a man when he is taken right? That doesn’t excuse his infidelity. However, that circumstance showed me that love is headed for a knockout. People are imperfect so why do we hold everyone to perfect standards? I’m all for being honest but there is just some information that I can’t divulge until I know the dating friendship is going to evolve into something more. So does that make me a liar? Our society is promoting more false representatives which leads to marriages that only last seventy-two days. . . . . . . .
For the record, I’m not a love hater. I honestly don’t have the time to become involved in someone else’s relationship because I’m trying to have one of my own. It takes everything that I have to become a better me for the woman I want to share forever with. And I don’t mind fighting through storms. There are times when time, space, and prayer are appropriate. There are other times when you will need to put on the poncho, boots, and what have you to combat the storm. If you are never taught how to fight for your relationship, you will always lose. There will also be times when you fight for your relationship and you still lose. As crazy as that sounds, don’t let that detour you. The objective at hand is much greater that what others see . . . . .