Taken . . . . . .

why-women-want-taken-men -  What's Off Limits

I’m still laughing from last week’s April Fool’s prank that I pulled on Facebook.  Unlike most people on social media, I try to keep my personal business private.  Even in my previous relationship, I attempted to keep it exclusive although that was impossible in the small town we lived.  My ex and I disagreed about me refusing to change my Facebook status to “in a relationship”.  She accused me of wanting to remain a “player” but it was quite the opposite.  You see, I know for a fact that females are attracted to men in relationships.  I honestly didn’t fancy any unwanted attention.  (I see you shaking your head but just roll with me for a few minutes . . . . )   I began to tell my ex about the taken man phenomenon.  I explained to her that when I was married, there was not a shortage of females throwing themselves at me.  The more I refused, the more they came after me.  And there were plenty that came after me.  I mean, I couldn’t think straight most days!  Female co-workers were making it known that they wanted to get me alone.  Female friends were becoming closer to me and were wanting to be more than just an option.  Hell, even when I sung in church on Sundays, I had to keep my eyes closed so that my eyes wouldn’t go to that certain female that would want to do me in the back of my car in the parking lot!  I found myself escaping through the back door of the church so that I wouldn’t talk to anyone.  It seemed that the wedding band had a mysterious power for attracting women.  And true enough when the marriage was over, the mysterious power left.  I would wait around after service and no one wanted to talk to me.  I was able to walk to my car without anyone stalking me.  No one was calling me for church parking lot rendezvous anymore. . . . .

So back to the prank.  For April Fool’s Day, I decided to change my relationship status from “single” to “engaged”.  First let me say that I’m not one to crack jokes like this via social media.  I normally reserve my comical side for my children, close family, and friends.  I knew that the joke would go over if I could make it believable.  In order to sell the joke, I posted the status the night before.  Needless to say, the next day I received a slew of comments from “congrats” to “what da hell?”.  The funniest thing to me were the amount of females who texted me, inboxed me, or commented regarding my status and why I chose to get married now.  Throughout last Wednesday, I had to answer various females regarding my status.  There were some who gave the fake congratulations followed by “whatever happened to us?”  Even though she didn’t comment or text, word got to me that even my ex-girlfriend was angry with the post.  But my question was why should anyone be angry?

When I was in grade school, my uncle, Reverend Thomas Moore, preached a message called “When You Had It You Didn’t Want It, Now You Want It and Can’t Have It”.  As a PK,  I’ve heard my share of sermons.  Enough for two lifetimes really.  However, this sermon has stuck with me for most of my life.  Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what passage of scripture that my uncle used that night during revival.  However, the point he made about this chick that he was infatuated with when he was in high school who never gave him the time of day only to want him later in life stood out.  He talked about how he purchased her flowers and the like and she played him over and over.  It was only until he came back for their ten year high school reunion with my aunt in tow that she wanted him back.  My uncle was doing well for himself at the time.  He stated that even after the reunion, the young lady pressed him over and over with phone calls.  She even started coming to the church that he was attending to get next to him.  Why was he such a catch all of a sudden?

taken 1

So why is it that females tend to want men that are taken?  Those women that were throwing the cooch my way were nowhere to be found when the judge signed my divorce papers.  In my previous relationship, there were females that constantly tried to get my attention.  You name it, they did it.  Since I’ve been single again, there have been no females beating down my door.  No dick sucking contest offered every Friday.  No offers to have sex with lesbian girlfriends.  Nope.  Nothing.  Just a lot of unreturned texts, rain checks, and excuses.

 

And this is why dating sucks . . . . . . . it really does . . . . . .

Fellas am I wrong?

Lou Williams doesn’t have these kinda problems . . . . . . .

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4 thoughts on “Taken . . . . . .

  1. Misterdock,
    I agree that with men and women seem to be more desirable to others when they are in a relationship, however I disagree that you “hide” your relationship status to avoid these situations. When I am in a relationship I want the world to know, especially if I am in a healthy, thriving relationship. The expectation in my relationship will be for my significant other to also make it known on Facebook that he is “in a relationship” because his commitment is to me and not others. In a relationship you will always be faced with adversity and challenges but I believe that when you enter into a relationship your commitment is to one another and that commitment should override all others.

  2. Sadly you are very right. I don’t quit understand why women gravitate to men that are already taken, but they do. My ex husbands previous girlfriend broke up with him because she felt he didn’t have enough to support her and her children so she didn’t want him. Some years later he hooked up with me and we together worked on his come up. So when she ran into him again and saw he was married and doing well she inserted herself right into our lives and fought to get him back. I don’t understand why women are like that. once I see a wedding band or hear a man mention his wife everything turns off for me. He is off limits territory!!

  3. Very interesting… however it’s not one-sided. The idea of wanting what is unavailable has more to do with us being competitive animals versus just wanting what someone else has. I can’t speak for why men do it (and they do)…ladies, we’ve all heard the “Oh you have a man, well can I just be your friend” lines. I can speak for why SOME women do it.

    Women, albeit, competitive with each other, value each other’s opinions in many things… a considerable mate included. We also tend to judge our success on whether we’ve done better, about the same, or worse than the next woman. That’s why clothes, shoes, etc. aren’t marketed to us JUST on shelves and racks. We are more attracted to an item draped on someone we view ourselves as similar too. And, the opposite, we denounce a situation, person or object that we feel doesn’t fit who we are, where we are or where we want to be. For example, I’m not even remotely attracted to men with gold teeth so even if I see one who may have a nice body, dressed well etc., if he smiles and I see metal, my interest is halted, almost immediately. However, for someone else, that might be their preference so they will continue with the pursuit. I agree wedding rings, statuses etc. bring a lot of unwanted attention but it’s what those symbols represent that’s actually getting the attention. If a man is married, ideally to a woman that means he’s responsible, he’s not afraid to take that step, he wants a family, he’s either stable or working towards stability…he has a plan. Women love A PLAN!

    The rejection that comes from the man draws admiration from a woman because subconsciously she is picturing herself as his woman/wife and thinking that he would turn down unwanted advances from other women in her honor just like he’s doing now. See, she’s already determined that you’re a catch and once you’re caught, you will be exactly what she wants. Most that go after unavailable men, aren’t focused on the current situation either, they’re too busy projecting their goal of THE CATCH. Love is more psychological than it is emotional in my opinion… GREAT POST!

    Nichelle.

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