I am on a nice guy with manners kick this week. On my highly successful blog, Hot Mess Life, I wrote about letting all the Mr. Nice Guys out there know that women still wanted them. But on the flip side, some women have taken this man and thrown him off the train tracks, and calling him “thirsty”. I don’t know when the term describing your need to drink fluids became a synonym for yearning for someone’s attention, but this shouldn’t be the case when describing a gentleman. Now, if you encounter a suitor who won’t take no for an answer, calls you 10 times a day, and begs for a date, I suppose that person could have a thirst that needs to be quenched. However, I think that type of behavior borderlines on a stalking/obsession scenario.
So , what happened to honoring the ways of a gentleman? I think that we have already confirmed that for many people out there, chivalry is in fact, six feet under. The act of being especially courteous to women is a lost art form to many, making today’s man a rare find, which should be cherished. Unfortunately, “bad boys” have taken over society. They’re singing you dirty songs, they’re not calling you back, they’re texting you “sup” at 3:45 am, they’re asking you to “just be friends”, and they’re never inviting you over to their house. Not all women are a victim to these culprits, but many are. We all know of a woman ( or have been that woman) who are habitually involved with men cheat on them, disrespect them, don’t express their feelings, and generally DGAF about the woman’s well-being. But the moment a man with manners and grace approach you and say “Hello, dear, I would like to ask you out for a meal you don’t even have to pay for”, homeboy is called thirsty. Our priorities in the dating world are all screwed up!
If you don’t want to deal with jerks anymore, and have been guilty of mistreating the good guy, you are lucky I am here to help you. If you are clueless as to what a gentleman looks like, I’m going to show you. I’ll even entertain this term “thirsty” to emphasize my examples because I care about you all so much. Because a man isn’t being thirsty when he immediately calls you after a great first date to set up a second, he’s being a man, you idiot ( I mean that with love, I swear):
A GENTLEMAN sees you walking down the street, and passes along a simple “hello, how are you” accompanied with a smile
A THIRSTY MAN whistles, calls you different colors, describes the color of a piece of clothing ( “hey blue skirt”) as you walk down the street just to get your attention, and then curses you when you don’t respond
A GENTLEMAN calls you after a first date, tells you he had a great time and asks when can he take you out again
A THIRSTY MAN calls you after a first date, tells you he had a great time, asks you out again, and also leaves you 3 voice mails and 10 text messages, awaiting an answer
A GENTLEMAN sends you sweet, little texts in the morning and when you go to sleep- he cares about you, woman, and that’s a good thing
A THIRSTY MAN texts you good morning, and again after you don’t respond within 3 minutes, and then 14 more times, wondering why you don’t text him back
A GENTLEMAN gladly introduces you to his friends and family as his “girlfriend” after the appropriate amount of time has passed, and it is a mutual agreed upon sentiment- he’s proud of you
A THIRSTY MAN calls you his woman after one date…and it was at Starbucks
A GENTLEMAN wants to spend time with you on a regular basis, and schedules frequent “date nights”, because well, YOU’RE DATING
A THIRSTY MAN wants to spend every waking moment with you, and cries when you want to hang with other people
A GENTLEMAN knows the right time to approach intimacy with a woman, given various verbal, physical and emotional cues
A THIRSTY MAN is ready to pop off as soon as you allow him to hug you, and may actually beg for you to do the dirty deed
So ladies, don’t dismiss a man because he’s eager to go out with you and actually returns your calls. This is what we want and deserve, so don’t get caught up in a mindset that has caused us to question the chivalry real men exude and compare it to being hard up for a woman. If you keep overlooking these men with actual manners, you’ll end up with the guy who send you 57 text messages in one day, all wondering “where you at?”