Waiting for Patience . . . . . . . . .


So I finally got around to watching “Gone Girl” this weekend.  I heard so much about it from my male peers on social media.  I had to see what the buzz was about.  And then . . . . . I watched.  Most of the time with complete interest and the last thirty-five minutes in complete anger.  I found myself bewildered at how this Nick character ended up married to this psychopath named Amy.  Amy appears to be the woman that every man wants.  She’s beautiful, well educated, and comes from a wealthy family.  She watches sports with Nick and helps drink his domestic beer.  Her sexual appetite satisfies Nick. Amy lets him get at her “good good” whenever he wants (a personal favorite). Hell, her mom even models her children’s book series after her! She couldn’t have been more than a size two and had those stand up, perky breasts.  With all these things going for her, Nick does what any smart man would do; he marries her.  Unbeknown to Nick, all of these positive attributes are nothing more than elaborate lies smoothed over a mound of crazy.  And sure enough, the crazy comes out after recession happens and Nick loses his mom.  Amy frames Nick for her murder and then has the nerve to come back when her plan backfires!  I was left in complete dismay as Nick was forced to stay with his psychotic wife in order to safeguard his unborn child.  It’s a tale of crazy that I’m all too familiar with.  Unlike Nick, there is no way in hell I’m living with crazy.  I would have killed Amy and did the “NaeNae” while she breathed her last breath.  Just kidding, just kidding .  . . . well . . . not really. . .


So I started to wonder, what if Nick actually walked away from Amy?  What if he left her in Missouri and went to somewhere, oh say Atlanta, Georgia, and started to date again?  Nick goes through counseling as he starts his job as a English professor at Georgia State University.  He’s been removed from Amy for over a year and wants to date again.  Like most of us, Nick desires companionship.  He’s broken but who’s to say he can’t date again?  So ladies, who’s gonna date Nick?  I mean if his profile came up on Match.com or if he swore off all White women and set up a profile on BlackPeopleMeet.com, who would date him?


Nick would be like a lot of us dating again in our thirties and forties; damage goods.  We are all just waiting our turn as used cars in love’s car emporium.  Most of us come to the car lot expecting a brand new car.  However, the sign clearly says “used”.  Each car will appear to be new but beneath the sparkle of the rims and the shine of the new paint job, there is wear and tear that you will have to manage.  You may have overlooked that tiny crack in the seat but over the next six months, that tiny crack has become what appears to be several cracks.  You wash the car and start to see faint scratches that have been touched up with what appears to be finger nail polish.  The more you drive your used car, the more issues you start to find.  It is in this moment that you make a conscious decision; you accept the car for what it is because the overall value outweighs its imperfections.


With all that being said, why don’t we give each other the same patience and care that we give an inanimate object that we purchase off a used car lot?  I know this may shock some of you ladies but we ALL have baggage (yes even you).  It doesn’t matter if it’s packaged as cheap garbage bags or exclusive Louis Vutton, we all have baggage.  However in the Matrix we are taught to believe that ideal person has no issues.  Just look at your Facebook timeline.  How many “sensitive male quotes” are you exposed to on the daily?  I tend to laugh because according to these quotes, a man should watch Lifetime, cry when sharing his feelings all the time, be willing to talk 24/7, prefer to go shopping or to church than to the game, ectetera, etcetera, etcetera.  Oh, did I mention that he needs to look like Ildris Elba?  How can a man be a man while aspiring to become a woman?

So my question for this Wednesday has to deal with patience.  I know so many people that are like Nick.  They have issues and it requires a certain kind of patience to date.  So the question is simply how much patience should you give a person when dating?  Is there a way to avoid psychopaths like Amy?  Ladies as always, I’m looking forward to hearing from you . . . . . . .

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