Dating Sucks . . . . . It Really Does

dating sucks pic

Dating sucks.  I hate it.  I really do.  I’ve been single (meaning not married) for over five years now and it has been more of a roller coaster than any of the rides at Six Flags.  The dating world is full of dramatic highs, climatic and heartbreaking falls, stroke induced twists, and then . . . . that abrupt end.  The whole experience leaves you wondering why did you spend your electric bill money just to wait in line for an hour and a half in the hot ass sun for a thirty second ride?  As you get older, the thrill becomes scarier.  You begin to recount all the news articles that you have read regarding people who have either died or were stuck upside down on the ride.  You begin to think about your health and if your heart can take in all of the excitement.  And then you are faced with the decision of whether getting on the ride is worth the risk.  It’s at that moment you realize that life is too important and you make your way to the bumper cars . . . . .

 

There are only two things I fear in life; the IRS and dating.  The IRS are a bunch of gangsters that will make you pay what THEY want you to pay and you have NO choice but to do so.  They can freeze your accounts, take your home, and make you their bitch for the rest of your life if they choose to.  Dating is pretty similar to the IRS.  Dating is an unfair game that single men and women are forced to play because they desire companionship.  Yes, I desire companionship. (It’s only so many conversations I can have about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with my son). I desire a woman who compliments me, not one who is dependent on me.  I believe that my lady should have her own interests and her own dreams that she is chasing.  I desire to be a “want” in her life.  I find it sexy when a working woman who is involved in the community makes time for me on the weekend.  I find it sexy that she texts me in the morning before she starts her day and tells me good morning.  I enjoy evening conversations discussing what we have both experienced during the course of our day and giving each other advice on how to approach a situation.  That is working together in my eyes.  However, that is not the world I live in.

 

Just asking someone that you may be attracted to has become an Olympic hurdle.  It’s no longer appropriate to ask a co-worker to go out with you because if she doesn’t like you, that can lead to sexual harassment.  You can’t ask anyone out at your church because the women have been coached to date others outside of the church in order to increase the congregation.  Everyone is on their phone posting selfies and Facebooking when you go to the club.  Online dating has become a labyrinth where you attempt to dodge and flee the stalkers that blitz your inbox while fighting through the barriers in pursuit the social climbers who are on waiting for Idris Elba to come through and ask them on a date.

 

The norm where I live, women who compliment me would rather not date me.  For whatever reason, I’m not what they are looking for.  I believe I’m a good catch.  I make decent money, I’m an active father who has primary custody of his children, I work out weekly, and I have dreams that are slowly becoming reality.  I’m pretty decent to look at, in my opinion.  Instead of a guy like me, most females here would rather be with a cat who is a minister (or one aspiring to be a minister), a ball player, a former convict/child molester, or . . . . gasp . . . . a married guy.  The females that are attracted to me are either married or crazy.  No in between.  My recent relationship was with a woman who suffers from a mental illness but refuses to address it.  The one before that was with a married woman who lived with her husband but swore up and down they were only “roommates”.  She wanted to be “exclusive” with me but she could never spend the night.  She was acting like a “player” but had trust issues with me. Sigh.  And so this has been the trend.  So now when a lady shows interest, I’m not so eager to get on the roller coaster.  Due to my track record, I take time to feel the woman out.  I attempt to build a friendship so that we are both comfortable with each other.  But what I’m learning is that a friendship is not wanted. Normally, the woman grows impatient and moves on.


So ladies, what do you really want out of a relationship?  Seriously?  Can a good guy actually date a good woman in our society today?

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Dating Sucks . . . . . It Really Does

  1. Wow great article. I really enjoyed reading about the dating game from a males point of view. To answer your question, yes I do believe that a good man can date a good woman in today’s society. I believe that a big part of the problem is our baggage. We allow every situation that we go through to travel into the next adventure with us. We think we’re being smart by using our previous experiences to shield us from ever being hurt in that way again. What were actually doing is building up walls of mistrust. We’re pretty much declaring the new person Guilty until proven innocent. So although we’ve broken up with the one that hurt us we’re still dating them in a sense.

    As for what woman want. I can’t answer that for all woman. However as for me and a few other good woman out here in the game, we want you. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell. We want the hard working man that takes care of himself and his family. Not just financially but spiritually and physically. It is important that we know that you want us too. When you approach a woman and automatically put her in the friend zone until she proves her worth to you, you are sending a message that she’s not good enough. When a man allows his past experience to dictate his dating process it clouds his view of what is right in front of him. First of let’s start by dispelling the myth that there is a friend zone in dating! Either your interested or your not. If you tell me you want to be my friend thats exactly what your going to be. So if your intersted in a woman stand up to your fears and court her. The “good morning beautiful” text are so nice and the late night conversations about your day are great but how much time are you spending with me? How much of a priority have you made me in your life. Do I know through your actions that I have your attention. As a grown woman that’s is looking for a permanent future with someone I don’t have time to stand in some friend zone hoping I can prove myself too be good enough. Not to mention the friend zone gives you the right to have other “friends.” So now you have the ease of no commitment and multiple choices if you desire. You get to sit back and watch these woman perform for you and try to win your affection. I will say it again there is no friend zone in dating. When a man is interested in a woman and she is intersted in him assuming that they are both good people (not crazy) and ultimately both want marriage their coming together is called dating. Yes they will become friends in the process. They will also become companions and lovers, and spiritual guides, supporter to one another and so much more. That “friend zone” sounds like it’s really your comfortable “fear zone” and it may be the reason your missing out.

  2. Ms. Morgan thank you for your response. I agree with most of your points actually as it relates to dating. Yes, we all do carry baggage whether it’s in garbage bags or in Louis Vutton. Knowing that everyone has baggage would make you think that we as people would have developed patience. But we don’t have patience. We want to be married right now. We don’t want to court. The art of courting no longer exists. To me, the art of courting is building a friendship. I’m trying to get to know you. I believe that if the attention is focused more on building that friendship, then the relationship becomes stronger. I don’t believe that you become a couple and then become friends. If you think about it, it’s kinda backwards. Do you get a management job before obtaining a degree and/or experience in the field? No. For some very odd reason, we don’t believe that friends can mature into lovers. This is where good guys get left behind . . . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s