Dating sucks. I hate it. I really do. I’ve been single (meaning not married) for over five years now and it has been more of a roller coaster than any of the rides at Six Flags. The dating world is full of dramatic highs, climatic and heartbreaking falls, stroke induced twists, and then . . . . that abrupt end. The whole experience leaves you wondering why did you spend your electric bill money just to wait in line for an hour and a half in the hot ass sun for a thirty second ride? As you get older, the thrill becomes scarier. You begin to recount all the news articles that you have read regarding people who have either died or were stuck upside down on the ride. You begin to think about your health and if your heart can take in all of the excitement. And then you are faced with the decision of whether getting on the ride is worth the risk. It’s at that moment you realize that life is too important and you make your way to the bumper cars . . . . .
There are only two things I fear in life; the IRS and dating. The IRS are a bunch of gangsters that will make you pay what THEY want you to pay and you have NO choice but to do so. They can freeze your accounts, take your home, and make you their bitch for the rest of your life if they choose to. Dating is pretty similar to the IRS. Dating is an unfair game that single men and women are forced to play because they desire companionship. Yes, I desire companionship. (It’s only so many conversations I can have about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with my son). I desire a woman who compliments me, not one who is dependent on me. I believe that my lady should have her own interests and her own dreams that she is chasing. I desire to be a “want” in her life. I find it sexy when a working woman who is involved in the community makes time for me on the weekend. I find it sexy that she texts me in the morning before she starts her day and tells me good morning. I enjoy evening conversations discussing what we have both experienced during the course of our day and giving each other advice on how to approach a situation. That is working together in my eyes. However, that is not the world I live in.
Just asking someone that you may be attracted to has become an Olympic hurdle. It’s no longer appropriate to ask a co-worker to go out with you because if she doesn’t like you, that can lead to sexual harassment. You can’t ask anyone out at your church because the women have been coached to date others outside of the church in order to increase the congregation. Everyone is on their phone posting selfies and Facebooking when you go to the club. Online dating has become a labyrinth where you attempt to dodge and flee the stalkers that blitz your inbox while fighting through the barriers in pursuit the social climbers who are on waiting for Idris Elba to come through and ask them on a date.
The norm where I live, women who compliment me would rather not date me. For whatever reason, I’m not what they are looking for. I believe I’m a good catch. I make decent money, I’m an active father who has primary custody of his children, I work out weekly, and I have dreams that are slowly becoming reality. I’m pretty decent to look at, in my opinion. Instead of a guy like me, most females here would rather be with a cat who is a minister (or one aspiring to be a minister), a ball player, a former convict/child molester, or . . . . gasp . . . . a married guy. The females that are attracted to me are either married or crazy. No in between. My recent relationship was with a woman who suffers from a mental illness but refuses to address it. The one before that was with a married woman who lived with her husband but swore up and down they were only “roommates”. She wanted to be “exclusive” with me but she could never spend the night. She was acting like a “player” but had trust issues with me. Sigh. And so this has been the trend. So now when a lady shows interest, I’m not so eager to get on the roller coaster. Due to my track record, I take time to feel the woman out. I attempt to build a friendship so that we are both comfortable with each other. But what I’m learning is that a friendship is not wanted. Normally, the woman grows impatient and moves on.
So ladies, what do you really want out of a relationship? Seriously? Can a good guy actually date a good woman in our society today?