You know how most black churches begin the year with a theme? For instance last year, 2014, was my church’s “year of increase.” Now you are probably asking yourselves what does this has to do with Mya hitting the skripper pole? Seriously how hard are the times, that Mya is getting her Ronnie from the Players Club on?
Any whoo, I figured that 2015 would be my year of opening up. It’s no secret that I am a private person; some may say secretive (which I take offense to). Secretive is erasing your cookies so that no one finds your password to Porn Hub. No, I’ve always kept things close to my vest. And besides, I’ve only written maybe 4 personal posts, if that.
Truth be told, I’ve never been big on opening up. It’s not that I don’t know how, it’s just that it’s been difficult for me. Growing up as an only child I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to have someone to confide in. Sure, I had my parents to talk to. But, unlike (and I’m guessing) people who grew up with siblings there were a few things that maybe they felt like they couldn’t talk to their parents about they could talk to with their siblings.
But again, I didn’t have that outlet. And in part because of that, it’s affected my personal relationships/business relationships and dealings with others. While some are open books, I am just the opposite. I’ll tell someone what I want them to know, without giving too much of myself. Now this has sometimes caused lopsided friendships.
I’ve even admitted to my best friend that he is a better friend to me than I am to him. He has no problem with bending my ear when he needs to get something off his chest. Me, on the other hand, not so much. It’s not because I can’t; he has always given me the opportunity to. I just never did, until recently, and even that was an adventure.
I know I can’t continue to blame being an only child on my need for privacy. And I know, that at some point, I am going to have to open myself up to others, even if it kills me. It won’t be easy. But I can’t continue letting it affect my dealings with others.
Is there anything, whether personal or not, that you would like to work on this year?
Talk to me, I’ll talk back.