“Why you gotta to lie to me? Just be a man about it. You ain’t got to lie to me. Just be a man about it. . . . “
Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine driving thirty minutes or so to your place of employment and it’s not there anymore. You pull up and the company logo that graced the front door and the front of the building are not there anymore. You get out of your car and pull on the front door were and it’s locked. As your heart beat quickens with each second, you stare through the glass door to see that all the equipment and office furniture gone. You didn’t receive any warning or notice from your supervisor, human resources, or any of your co-workers. You get on your cell and call several of your co-workers but no one is answering. Emotions begin to rush over you as disbelief floods your eyes and your mind is trying to figure out what the next move is. Do you still have your 401K? Will you be able to file unemployment? These are the same feelings most people have when a relationship ends as it normally ends . . . . . . . without notice for the one who invested the most.
I tend to invest a lot in relationships. I’m a believer of your partner complimenting you in every way. I’m in the process of having my faith restored in marriage and monogamy because I’m scarred. Because I tend to fall hard once I’m invested, I have learned to take things slower than I have in previous years. I pride myself on being the kind of guy that tries to learn from his mistakes. You know, actually listening to the woman and her wants. However, in all of the relationships that I’ve been dismissed from (I’ll address that later), a woman has never told me that it was “over”. Every woman that has dismissed me from a relationship has gone the round about way of doing so i.e. not responding to texts or calls as they once did, having to work overtime when they don’t have a job . . . you know the usual bullshit. When I attempted to confront one of my former “employers” on the issue of not calling me anymore, she had the nerve to say that she didn’t owe me an explanation! Really? The fact that she was arrogant enough to say that told me she wasn’t worth my time. And for me, that is fine. Most of the time whenever I’m in a relationship and I want out, I create an environment that makes the woman want to leave me. Why? Because if I break it off, I have to have another lady in the wings. If I break it off, she was just one of the many females I was laying the pipe to and she can’t believe that she fell for me, let alone hit it raw. If I break it off, I’m a homosexual and I’m going to hell. And for that very reason, I do what I do. However, I did run into that one out of ten that left me looking through the want ads again . . . . . . .
Let’s be honest, the hardest thing about a relationship is the end. Whether things lead to marriage and then “death do you part” or love’s unemployment office unsure of when you will get your next paycheck, it takes time to cope with things coming to an end. So as good people (as I believe most of us are), we try to find ways to cushion the fall. The back and forth between Toni and Dr. Dre in the song, “Just Be A Man About It” is all too common. For whatever reason, Toni is no longer satisfying Dre’s needs and he wants to move on with the side chick. Maybe Toni was never home enough for him. Maybe she never cooked. Maybe she never gave him head. Whatever the case, he doesn’t know exactly how to convey his feelings to Toni. Now Dre could be telling Toni the truth over this five minute conversation but that doesn’t matter. The timing is wrong. Telling her over the phone is wrong. The fact is, he is telling her about her dismissal but it is not in the manner that Toni wants it. Which leads to the question of the day; is there a proper way to end a relationship?