I recently met a “Nice Guy”. He told me I was beautiful, complimented me, and even pondered why we hadn’t spoken in a few says, as if it burned him up inside. As he exhibited manners, courtesy, and an intrinsic attraction to me, I immediately thought something was wrong with him.
I know this sounds ludicrous, but these thoughts run through many a woman’s mind who has had a difficult time in the love department. This will be especially true for any woman who has had an awful string of run-ins with the law, I mean LOVE, on the wrong side of the street. If you have dealt with many noncommittal, deceitful, untrustworthy, and conniving men who STILL have a way of stealing your heart, you may find it extremely difficult to know a good thing when it’s standing in front your face. I’m not naming any names, but uh yeah, that’s me and about 79 other women I know.
I’m the woman who looked a guy in the eye who clearly didn’t want to be with me, and said “Hey, you look like a great prospect for being in my life forever!” After Mr. Didn’t Really Want To Be With Me vanished (surprise), I went over to Mr. I’m Not Really Ready For Anything Serious and assumed the virtually impossible task of convincing him to make a commitment, because surely that would work. After becoming baffled that the relationship wasn’t a success, I tried once again with Mr. We’re Just Friends, because I just knew that convincing him to want more would be a cinch. While all these disastrous love projects played out, Mr. Nice Guy was always just a stone’s throw away, shaking his head at me and wondering when I’m going to get it together and leave Mr. A-hole alone.
If you’re reading this and thinking I’m a sad case, F you. Just kidding, but seriously, don’t be judgmental. We all know someone who’s a fool for love, even knowing when it’s ourselves. Most of the consequences of this behavior can be attributed to the one sticking their neck out for love, as all we want to do is just get it right. But what happens when our judgment becomes so distorted that we can’t recognize a good thing when we see it? Let me introduce Exhibits A-C into evidence:
A: We are upset when Mr. A-Hole doesn’t call us back, but jump with excitement when he texts us at 3am, with a simple “SUP?” Meanwhile, Mr. Nice Guy texts you “Good morning” for a week straight, and you’re contemplating if he’s a legitimate stalker.
B: Mr. A-Hole’s idea of a date is “whatever you want to do is fine”. Nevertheless, you still go out with him, hoping he’ll get it together one day and plan a real romantic evening. Mr. Nice Guy plans an evening out to a Broadway play (because you mentioned you like plays and he actually LISTENED to you), and you question his sexuality, and have now convinced yourself that it won’t work out.
C: Mr. Nice Guy wants to see you soon after your first date. In fact, he wants to see you immediately after your second date. CLEARLY, he has no other friends and you brush him off because he appears to be excessively clingy. On the other hand, you don’t talk to Mr. A-Hole for a week after you go out, but when he calls, you trip over yourself to answer the phone, because dammit, he’s so cute.
All this prior evidence leads to the fact that you don’t know when to embrace the Nice Guy. Any woman (or man) that exhibits this type of behavior does understand that they’ve allowed themselves to be under the spell of Mr. (Mrs.) A-Hole for quite some time, and so they take Mr. Nice Guy for granted. My fellow Americans, these type of shenanigans need to stop! Recognize that crappy behavior is not good for a relationship, and affectionate communication does not make someone creepy and weird. It simply means they actually LIKE YOU. We need to stop the A-Hole in his tracks, and give the Nice Guy some love! Not literally, unless you really want to.