When is it okay to start dating again?

Let’s say you and your boo thang break up, and you both go your separate ways without so much as a regret, or looking back. Hell, Trinidad James has a better chance of winning  “Are you smarter than a 5th grader” than the two of you getting back together. So the question is, when is the appropriate time for you to start dating again? Better yet, does it even matter? I mean if it’s over, then should there even be a time table on when one or both start dating again?

I don't care if we broke up when Bow Wow was lil, if you start dating before me, I'm going to be pissed.
I don’t care if we broke up when Bow Wow was lil, if you start dating before me, I’m going to be pissed.

I understand some people want to feel special and more important than they really are, and may take offense to their ex moving on so quickly. But again, if the relationship is over, then why should it matter about the other person moving on? If and when the other person decides to date again, then there isn’t anything that you can do about it. That person doesn’t owe you any common courtesy or waiting period before they find someone else’s hair to pull.

IMO, I think the only person who should place a time schedule on dating again is the person who is contemplating it. That person should decide  if they are ready or not, or when the time is right  to start dating again.

I know that no one wants to feel played, or discarded… so I can see why anyone may question their ex about cheating on them with the person who they are currently dating. But even if that is the case, there is nothing that can be done about it. No amount of racking your brain trying to figure it out is going to make a difference. What else can you do besides to accept it and move on?

I scratch my head when talking to people about their ex significant other dating again soon after the break up. They’ll say some asinine shit like, “I guess I wasn’t that important… the relationship must not have meant anything to him/her… or I guess he/she was just looking for an excuse to break up”, which makes no sense to me. The two of you broke up for a reason. Do you really want to question the reason(s) why your ex chose to date others so soon?

What do you think? Is there an acceptable time period for someone to start dating again, after a break up? If so, how long is it?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.


6 thoughts on “When is it okay to start dating again?

  1. If it’s been more than two years, YES I believe that some time to self between relationships should happen. 1) to ensure this isn’t just an extended disagreement 2) to re-evaluate what I’m looking for and 3) to make sure I’m not taking old bullshit into a new relationship.

    1. I understand that, I think that someone shouldn’t start dating again, until they are really. What I don’t understand is not moving because of some foolish loyalty, to someone you are no longer with.

  2. they are an ex for a reason. Like you said it doesn’t really matter what your ex is doing as long as you are worried about you and only you. so it doesn’t matter if you wait two months or two days and it also depends on the person that you meet next maybe that person it was just meant to be

    1. I agree, you don’t owe your ex anything. And if he/she wants to feel some way about it, that’s on them. They are an ex for a reason and if you are sure that there is now chance of getting back together (which is dumb, why break up, just to make up?) than do you and get yours.

  3. I think there should be a timeline only for healing and medical reasons.

    If you were in a deeply committed relationship and the end was abrupt, you should take some time to be solo. If the breakup was drawn out – then maybe less time is required.

    I can see why people feel that way about something. We like to believe that love isn’t freely given. Can you lay down with someone and love them and then do that with someone else 2 weeks later? Maybe. But I’ll question your definition of love as it’s not something that should be so easily transferable.

    Plus of you were in a relationship not using condoms or protection – it’s just prudent to wait a hot second. But maybe that’s just me.

    1. I can understand what you are saying about being in a committed relationship. And I’m not advocating pushing that to the back burner, but once the relationship is over, you don’t owe that person anything, let alone any consideration.

      While we all process things differently, I do think that a healing process/time is needed. But I don’t think any misguided loyalty is needed.

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