I’m pretty sure you know, work with or maybe even dated someone that is a killjoy. A person that no matter what always seems to find the negative in everything and never has anything positive to say. The person that you try to avoid at all costs because you know that if they get a whiff of your happiness or enjoyment they will try to find a way to sabotage it so that you can be unhappy like them.
Single girlfriends that you don’t want to share details of your relationships with because you know they are only going to point out your s/o flaws with the hopes that your relationship will end so that the both of you can be miserable and man less together.
Or a friend that whenever something good is happening in your life you make it a point to not tell them because instead of giving encouragement they will only let you know why you aren’t deserving of it.
I like to refer to these types of people as Eeyore, as in Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Eeeyore just like some people that we know was the most depressive, energy sapping and negative one of the crew, who never had anything to good say about other people.
It’s a shame because most of them didn’t start out this way; maybe something happened along the way that changed their outlook on life. Maybe they suffered a major disappointment, was hurt by a friend or the felt they were passed over for something they felt they deserved. Whatever the case maybe they cannot or refuse, to have a positive outlook.
So why do we still call these people friends? Well for a couple of reasons, maybe we grew up together, their family members, they weren’t always like that, or out of pity. The last example is probably the worst and most selfish reason why we still consider them a friend. Pitying someone who you cannot confide in, share happiness with or give you a word of encouragement when needed is doing you and that person a great disservice. Not only are you not being a real friend to them you are enabling their behavior. Besides who wants to be pitied anyway? You wouldn’t want someone who only keeps you around because it makes them feel better about themselves for befriending a social reject.
There are two options to take when dealing with a killjoy. The first one being avoidance, which is almost impossible since they are in our everyday lives making avoiding them difficult. And the second one being “hurting them a little now, so that they won’t hurt a lot later” and this can be done by being upfront and honest with them about their attitude. If they are a true friend they may get upset when you point out their negativity but will accept that you are just trying to help them because you care.
While neither option is fool proof it is better to take a proactive approach when dealing with people like this rather than to let negativity build up to the point that you wish they would go play on the freeway with oncoming cars.
What do you think; do you know anybody like this? If so how do you deal with them? Do you try to nip it in the bud in the beginning? Or do you just cut them off and wash your hands of them?
Talk to me, I’ll back.
Breazy the Narrator.