Are You Man Enough

Pusillanimous (adj.) – lacking courage and resolution: marked by contemptible timidity; lack of manliness.

By now, I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed a startling trend of men operating as if they have a Y chromosome, instead of an X. Please note, this is not a diss to women, but rather the start of the devolution of men.dockers-real-man-manifesto

Not to be confused with real n*ggas, but “real men” seem so hard to find that you would probably have an easier time finding a hot sixteen from Wiz Kalifa. I am aware that women have been saying for years that there are no more good men; that they either live in Atlanta, or are in jail. Truth be told, I would always take offense to this. Some women’s definition of a real man is subjective, and varies from woman to woman, no Denise LaSalle. Some want to be pampered like in the Fairytales, while some just want to be loved. I would be a liar if I said I was the perfect man. While some women from my past might have their thoughts, I think that I’ve grown into a good man, with room left for more growing.

Having said that, I do agree partly with the women who say that real men are hard to find; but, I won’t go so far as to co-sign their extinction. You see, it seems cool and acceptable for a man to be effeminate. Now, I don’t mean in a sexuality kind of way, but in a way that makes it hard to tell the boys from the men and unfortunately, men from the boys.

So many men in my age group (35-40) are living in a Peter Pan state, where they are trying to re-live their childhoods. Instead of acting their age and not their shoe size, or taking on the role of a self sufficient man and a role model to the younger generation, some of my generation’s men are content to “turn up in the club,” and do the same things as somebody almost half their age.

In decades past, manliness defined how we thought of a man. A few characteristics associated with manliness included building things, tinkering with a car for hours in the garage, walking around with his head held high and chest puffed out, and being held in high esteem by not just women, but by his fellow man as well.

Now days, it seems like it’s a race to “out-soft” each other. Everything from men’s fashion, music, to collegiate activities has all seemed to embrace today’s softer man. For better or for worse, baggy t-shirts and jeans have been replaced by women’s slim cut jeans, and shirts so tight they snap in between the legs. Some of the biggest names in Hip Hop are softer than wet naps, and some are openly wearing even women’s clothing like it’s natural. Add to that,  a group of men in Texas called MIAKA (Men In AKA sorority) threatened the AKA’s with a discrimination lawsuit for not allowing them to join.

Even though it would be easy for me to shake my head at these and other examples of today’s man, I’ve decided instead to look at the man in the mirror and ask myself where did I go wrong? How did I fail the younger generation? Did I not punch the little homies enough in the chest to toughen them up growing up? Did I not encourage them enough to go outside to play football and basketball instead of sitting in the house all day playing video games? Or, did I not take one under my arm in an attempt to show him the ropes? All of these questions rack my brain when trying to figure out… just how the younger generation of men turned out the way that they did.

Even though I am an only child, I come from a two parent household with both parents coming of age in the Jim Crow era in the South. My father was/is a true southern gentleman who believes in God first, family, and then everything else. My father’s motto was/is TCB (take care of business) first, then relax or play.  Holding on to that knowledge and other jewels that my father has passed on to me, (let me get my not- so -humble -brag- on for a moment), I could be a beacon for some younger males who are looking to learn.

Well this is just my take on some of today’s men. While I’m not pointing the finger or judging, I can say that some of what’s being displayed has me scratching my head and asking what could I have done?

What is your take on the state of men these days?

Talk to me I’ll talk back.

Dr. Breazy West.

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15 thoughts on “Are You Man Enough

  1. The list is too long for what is wrong with today’s “young men”. I’m troubled that if the trends continue, the true definition of manhood (simply handle your business, whatever it is) will be lost. If that happens, what will become of the black community?

    1. What I think is more troubling is the fact that some of those that are old enough to know/do better are simply trying to relate and be friends with some of today’s men, instead of being mentors and positive male role models.

  2. breezy have too much to say about this topic and it’s not necessarily to beat the brothers up. I also feel what you’re saying about our generation letting the younger generation behind us down. Eg. how can I teach my daughter to love and respect herself when I don’t love and respect myself.

    1. You know I wasn’t trying to beat up on us men, I just felt like I needed to recognize our part in the decline in what I feel are “real men”. That’s not to say that we are the only reason, but I’m man enough – Pun intended to acknowledge a break down between us and the younger generation. The truth is, there is no one reason why men aren’t stepping up to the plate, single parent homes, babies having babies, etc…

      1. Of course I know you weren’t Breazy!!!! I was trying to say that I (me) have much to say about the topic and it’s not because I want to beat the brothers up. It’s more out of love if anything. I applaud you for stepping up and bringing up the topic. Men need to hold other men accountable.

  3. Sometimes it starts at home, especially when the mother/grandmother/auntie do not allow boys to be “traditional boys.” What I mean by “traditional boys,” is playing sports, being physical, and having responsibilities (chores, employment, school work, etc.). In addition, some women do not allow their sons to hang around men (or at least decent ones.)

    Straight up, a bum or fairy ass dude cannot raise a boy to be a responsible or real man. They can raise him to be a parasite.

    1. Hey Insomniac, I didn’t think of it that way. But I think it’s a what came first, the chicken or the egg syndrome. Bum or fairy ass dudes may not have had a positive male role model in there life, which contributed to them being bum or fairy ass dudes. As usual thanks for keeping me on my toes.

  4. Great post, Breazy!

    I think what we are seeing is at least 2 generations of babies having babies and its devastating effects. The young parents were too young to know what to do and now they are grandparents because their children repeated their actions. So today when we have over 70% of children growing up in single parent homes, we did miss something along the way.
    God Bless You and Happy Blogging!

    1. I agree and to piggy back off your notion, as I said on Shawn’s show a few months back, it’s almost like a sport leaving a mother to be a single parent. That’s not to say that it’s all the mens fault since it takes 2 to tangle. I guess the problem is no one is smart/wise enough to realize that this trend needs to stop and put the TV remotes down. Until people want change, things will continue as usual.

  5. You hit the nail on the head. In particular, I encounter men my age (30s) that don’t know how to treat a woman and are perfectly content with being non-commital, non-ambitious guys with no sense of chivalry. Great post.

    1. I know, I see it when I go out. The thing is that seems to be the norm, we all know how much influence pop culture (music/movies) have. Even the songs that get play on the radio, don’t mention love or chivalry. It’s all about f&ckin, a woman busting it open and twerking. How can you move past what you don’t accept to be wrong.

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