Habits I Can’t Shake

Old habits die hard, much like Ciara’s career – seriously how many time can she whore herself out on wax before she calls it quits? Why you wanna be starting something? Anywhoo, like I was saying old habits die hard, no matter how old I am or evolved from my past I am, there are still a few things I just can’t shake.

This has nothing to do with the post, but I wanted to make sure I had your attention.
This has nothing to do with the post, but I wanted to make sure I had your attention.

Just like Pookie, there are a few things that keep calling me and calling me; for instance asses so fat you can see them from the front, women with cornrows, starched creased Dickies and high top Chuck Taylors. I swear you would think I like women that played as extras in Boyz-n-The-Hood, you better take your ass to the store with that. I’m sure when you think of shaking a habit, you probably think said habit is bad. Which is not always the case, sometimes people just out grow some things.

Because everybody has bad habits – no Maxwell – and I know this man, I know I have a few. Why am I so fly (I don’t know), why am I so hi (it’s the indo), I don’t mess with pocus and everybody knows this, messing with the Chronic, because the Chronic give me dopeness. See a bad habit. Any questions?

But like I said before, not all habits are bad, sometimes they just are what they are, which I’m sure is an oxymoron or some shit, similar to Ray J’s career. Now just because they’re not bad in the sense of kicking old people down the stairs or killing cats (that’s what she said), doesn’t mean they don’t to have to be curbed or done in moderation.

I know I have more than a few habits, some big, some small, and some that could use some home training. Others are just misunderstood, while some just want to be left alone. Some that can’t sleep, they toss and turn, candlesticks in the dark with the visions of bodies being burned. What was I saying, oh yeah, the moral is, even though I’ve tried, I can’t seem to shake these haters for the life of me. So since I try to make a list once a week and prove to you I can count, I present to you Breazy’s list of things I just can’t shake.

1. Smacking

I know this isn’t something that most people will admit, but I’m not like everybody. I smack. I know I shouldn’t and I swear I don’t do it on purpose. When I try to chew slow it sounds like an automatic weapon, or so I figure if chewing with my mouth makes noises, what the hell? Besides when I chew with my mouth slow, I chewer slower than Wacka Flaca reading out loud in class.

2. Order chicken

Oh the irony. I actually like chicken, but because I’m conscious of perpetuating a stereotype, I’ll go out of my way to act like I’m not going to order chicken. This usually backfires on me because when I try not to order chicken, Annie the Popeyes chicken lady always appears out of nowhere naked with a bucket of extra chicken and the only way to make her go away is by ordering chicken.

3. 40 oz

I know I’ve written about my association with malt liquor in a previous post, but if there is any one thing that just calls to me like LL Cool J and extra smedium shirts, it’s the 40oz. No matter how long I go without one, an ice cold 40 oz is always in the back of my mind. Back in my early twenties, 40’s and I went together like Drake albums and boxes of tissues.

4. Denver Broncos

If loving my beloved Denver Broncos are wrong, I don’t want to be right. Since most black people don’t believe that there are black people that live in Denver, I more than overcompensate in repping my love for my Broncos. Every time I’m around friends, I’ll have on one of my three Broncos hats; two are throwbacks made by Mitchell and Ness and one is made by New Era. On my side of the carport I have a “This spot is reserved for Broncos fans only” sign hanging up. Down in the man cave as you walk down the stairs there is a Denver Broncos Lane sign hanging. I have a Broncos rug, a blue and orange Broncos throw draped on the side of my sectional sofa, and an orange and blue Broncos throw draped on the other side of the sectional sofa. I have a Denver Broncos Flag hanging from the ceiling, Denver Broncos 16 oz beer mug and jerseys of the two greatest quarter backs to ever play professional football; John Elway and Peyton Manning. Everybody should wish they could be so lucky to be a Broncos fan.

So what are some habits that you just can’t shake?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy Manning

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