You know, if there was an interracial dating Olympic event, black men would probably win the gold every year. At least that’s the perception, if you polled 100 African Americans who are more prone to date outside their race. Black men would probably get a resounding 98% of the votes from a polling of black men, black women, white men and white women. Interracial dating is no different when compared to most generalizations that are based off some reality. Black men do date white women… as a matter of fact, black men date women period; we are equal opportunity daters. I know I’ve said a time or two that if Rosalyn Sanchez was purple, I’d still check her chest in poker while drinking Bacardi lime with her.
Now, I’m not sure if there is a larger percentage of black men than black women, or any other race/gender, who date interracially, but what I am sure of, is that they do. Of course black women, just like black men, date outside of their race, but you won’t hear as much about it, because we are led to believe that only black men step out. The perceived reasons why black men and black women who date outside their race, are as different as lil Kim’s “after” plastic surgery look from 1995 and her “after” plastic surgery look from today (did you see her looking like a Madame Tussaud wax statue at the VMA’s?). One is ridiculed for not liking the black race, his/her mama, or is Bryant Gumbel, while the other person is encouraged to do so in order to broaden his/her horizons and to find someone with good credit.
I’m not sure if white men and women catch as much flack for dating outside their race as we do, but it would be interesting to be a fly on the wall when Suzy brings Ray Ray home for dinner. So, basically, when it comes to interracial dating, you tend to hear really about three groups: the black man who dates white women, the black woman who dates white men, and the white men who date black women. But, you don’t hear too much about white women who date black men, unless it’s “they are trying to take all our good men.”
And this is a little perplexing, we will try to think of and come up with reasons why the other three groups date outside their race, but no one really bats an eye at attractive, white women who choose to date black men. I guess we automatically assume that either she wants to play out some Jane and Tarzan fantasy, have a way to get back at, or piss off her daddy, or she is an opportunist looking to cash in on his multi-million dollar contract.
Basically, if she is with a black man, then either she is a freak, a Kardashian, or she has “daddy” issues.
This type of thinking is usually a knock against white women, especially those who date black men; actually, it is an insult to black men. By believing that white women who choose black men have psychological issues or are gold diggers, we are implying that there’s no rational reason for a normal and sane white woman to want to be in a serious relationship with a black man.
Truth be told, I have fallen victim to this train of thought myself. I’ve joked about the token white woman who you might find at a predominantly black gathering such as a club or lounge, looking for drugs, a little excitement in her life, or looking for someone who can run the three legged race by himself. It never dawned on me that she might be there, because she actually likes the spot, the music, or genuinely likes black men. Admittedly, I do find it strange when someone chooses to date only outside their race. I’ll assume that the person is “sticking it” to his/her culture or just trying to put another stuffed head up on the mantle, sort of like another notch in a belt.
What do you think? Do you think that I am being ignorant in thinking that white women have a trick up their sleeves when dating black men? What are your thoughts?