I’d Hit It, But I Wouldn’t Tell Anyone.

We all have them, and sometimes at the most inopportune times. We can’t help it, but sometimes our brains take a drunken field trip to Never Never Land, unbeknownst to us. Right before you and your mate do the horizontal Tootsie Roll, the thought comes to mind of Flavor Flav riding a Unicorn in a Onesie, or Nene wearing a thong while doing Pilates. While Kapri Stylez doing Pilates in a thong, or say for the ladies, Boris Kodjoe riding a Unicorn in a Onesie is much more appealing, we can’t always help the places our minds go when they wander. Some of the places are understandable, and some of the places are What The F&ck? It’s the What The F&ck places that whether we want to or not, have desires and attractions to people who we would probably rather take to the grave.

Don't tell anyone, but she would get it.
Don’t tell anyone, but she would get it.

Subconsciously, we can be attracted to people, and later wonder for just even thinking about it, “did I  pop a Molly, I’m sweating?” For example, and to be clear, I have no damn idea why I find Nancy Pelosi attractive, in an American Pie, MILF, Blanche from the Golden Girls, kind of way. Did that make sense even? No? It didn’t make any sense to me, but that just goes to show how sometimes we are attracted to people who we wouldn’t be ordinarily. And to put myself out there even more, I have this weird attraction to Sherri Shepherd, maybe it’s the twins though.

This post is probably TMI, but hey, it’s my party and I cry if I want to. I won’t get into all of the mental issues that I probably have, just for being attracted to Nene doing Pilates in a thong, right before playing hide the chicken. But, I will say, that this is a perfect example of a take it to the grave fantasy, when for reasons we can not and do not want to understand or explain, we are reluctantly, yet, sexually attracted to someone (whether it’s an actress from the Golden Girls, a Target cashier with two types of Yaki, or Octavia Spencer) we really don’t want to be attracted to.

Anyway, I probably scared you with my, I’d rather die before telling anybody attractions. Who are some of your, I need my head checked, I can’t believe I am serious attractions?


36 thoughts on “I’d Hit It, But I Wouldn’t Tell Anyone.

  1. As I await the backlash…there is nothing wrong with who is pictured here. And say what you want about NeNe but her hubby loves it.

    Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder; not everyone can look like Halle or Boris, nor should they try to.

    Never…mind my soapbox moment. I’ll wait for the comments now.

    1. Well for me it has little to do with looks. Nene is just so obnoxious to me and I would probably claw my eyes out if I had to listen to her talk all day. To me she is the picture of a post I did entitled Boughetto (shameless plug, I know) But yet she’s oddly attractive to me. Same goes for Sherri, except I think she’s goofy, our personalities would definitely clash.

      1. I loved me some Biggie…even hooked up with someone who looked like him. Mainly because he looked like him. I was 19 at the time so going for the superficial gets a pass.

        He was also from NY and had Big’s demeanor.

      2. So they love it when you call them Big Poppa, huh? I aint mad at that. Don’t feel bad I have a couple BBW’s in my past. I had/have a thing for Jill Scott even on her first album when she was rounder Jilly from Philly.

        Also Marsha Ambrosious, who i’m still on the fence with about her weight loss. Only because she lost her ass along with the excess weight.

      3. …but Biggie would have cause me so much drama and weight would have been an issue, as it was for old boy.

  2. I am not afraid to say that I love Birdman from the Miami Heat… though he looks like he should be on an episode of Ripley’s Believe it or Not with all those tattoos, I think he is sexy! lol

      1. lol… If you look like an extra on Breaking Bad, I’ll love you!

        I think it’s more of a little thing I hate to call SWAG. His persona on the court, attitude, etc., make him more attractive. Which how I believe a lot of us women get in trouble (being attracted to bad boys)

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