We all have them, and sometimes at the most inopportune times. We can’t help it, but sometimes our brains take a drunken field trip to Never Never Land, unbeknownst to us. Right before you and your mate do the horizontal Tootsie Roll, the thought comes to mind of Flavor Flav riding a Unicorn in a Onesie, or Nene wearing a thong while doing Pilates. While Kapri Stylez doing Pilates in a thong, or say for the ladies, Boris Kodjoe riding a Unicorn in a Onesie is much more appealing, we can’t always help the places our minds go when they wander. Some of the places are understandable, and some of the places are What The F&ck? It’s the What The F&ck places that whether we want to or not, have desires and attractions to people who we would probably rather take to the grave.
Subconsciously, we can be attracted to people, and later wonder for just even thinking about it, “did I pop a Molly, I’m sweating?” For example, and to be clear, I have no damn idea why I find Nancy Pelosi attractive, in an American Pie, MILF, Blanche from the Golden Girls, kind of way. Did that make sense even? No? It didn’t make any sense to me, but that just goes to show how sometimes we are attracted to people who we wouldn’t be ordinarily. And to put myself out there even more, I have this weird attraction to Sherri Shepherd, maybe it’s the twins though.
This post is probably TMI, but hey, it’s my party and I cry if I want to. I won’t get into all of the mental issues that I probably have, just for being attracted to Nene doing Pilates in a thong, right before playing hide the chicken. But, I will say, that this is a perfect example of a take it to the grave fantasy, when for reasons we can not and do not want to understand or explain, we are reluctantly, yet, sexually attracted to someone (whether it’s an actress from the Golden Girls, a Target cashier with two types of Yaki, or Octavia Spencer) we really don’t want to be attracted to.
Anyway, I probably scared you with my, I’d rather die before telling anybody attractions. Who are some of your, I need my head checked, I can’t believe I am serious attractions?