Analyze This.

If you notice, I don’t give a lot of advice, whether it’s in my posts or when I’m replying to comments; I’m not much of an advice giver. My non-advice-giving is not by happenstance, but actually by design, due to a couple of factors. For starters I don’t feel I’m the best person to provide advice. That’s not to say that I don’t have wisdom that can be shared or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I have skeletons the height of Shaq and the girth of precious in my closet and therefore may not be the best person to give counsel when I don’t always take my own advice.

Hey!  Don't get mad at me, I told you not marry a woman name Cinnamon.
Hey! Don’t get mad at me, I told you not marry a woman name Cinnamon.

Another reason why I don’t give advice is because I’m brutally honest. If you are looking to have a pity party, then don’t call me. I only know how to give advice one way and that’s to shoot from the hip. If you are looking for someone to be a yes man and an enabler, you got the wrong one jack. I don’t sugarcoat or tell the person what they want to hear, if you are f*cking up and you are at fault, I’m going to tell you are f*cking and you’re at fault. Because this can be too harsh for someone it has led lead to hurt feelings and ended several friendships along the way. Even though I was hurt that the friendships ended, I wasn’t hurt by the cause of the friendship ending. I can lie to you and let you walk through life like it’s everybody else that’s tripping and not you and let you get an even ruder awakening later or I can tell you the truth that you need to hear. Basically if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t call me.

I also don’t give advice because I don’t always know when the best time to give it is. I’m not saying that I disregard the person that is coming to me for advice feelings or that I don’t care what they have to say. My problem is not always being able to tell the difference between being a shoulder to lean on and an advice giver. This tends to get me in trouble more with my female friends, when, after they’ve poured their heart out to me, I immediately start in with giving advice (what can I say, I’m a fixer), which is sometimes met with a side eye or a sigh. I do it out of love and habit, I truly am listening to what the person is saying which leads to the advice that I give, but sometimes the other person just wants to vent and I have to be more aware of that. So since this is a problem, I now wait for the other person to ask for my advice.

So that’s it, these are some reasons why I don’t give advice like some other bloggers.

Do you ever find it hard to give advice or know when to? Maybe the other person just can’t handle the truth or you’re like me and you don’t know when to be an ear and when to give advice.

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy Winfrey.

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12 thoughts on “Analyze This.

    1. Yeah that is something that I have learned to do lately. But what gets me is the person that comes to you and ask you what they should do you tell them, they still do the opposite and still want to have a pity party. #aintnobodygottimefordat

  1. I love giving advice because I have all wisdom…lol….Hey, I try to give my opinion on a matter. If people take it fine, if they dont that is fine too. It is there life not mine.

    As a man I had to learn that some people just need an ear. For some of my friends I have learned to ask if they just want me to listen or do the want advice. Then I proceed from there.

  2. I seem to ALWAYS be giving advice! People are always coming at me for answers and for the most part I don’t mind… And I’ve been thanked a time or two for being honest and loving enough to actually “help” someone.
    I’m well practiced at choosing my words wisely and kindly when telling someone something they probably don’t want to hear but need to hear it anyway.

    I typically QUALIFY the situation first though, “You want to vent or you want my opinion or you want advice?”

    I’m thankful that I also have good people to go to when I need advice too 🙂

    Geesh Breazy, this mean I can’t you’re off limits for MOI?!! To be my own personal confidente!?
    ~R

  3. Normally I’ve found as has you and the commentators probably know, people may ask for advice but really want verification they’ve done or is going to do the right thing. That is where I get into trouble. Like you, I give an honest opinion to friends, family or who ever. Why, because I have to be comfortable with what I say, hopefully before I speak. Sometimes the advice is taken and other times, its ignored.

    I try to present a story with perspective in my blogs, so that a person can make up their own mind. However I will voice my opinion. Again, I have to be comfortable with what I say. Hopefully, people will have food for thought, facts to consider, and examples from which to drawn an opinion. Primarily my blogs are to present another point of view,

    I like your point of view about advice but as you say yourself. Even if you don’t want to give advice, you end doing just that for most people, especially those who ask for it. So you just keep on keeping on.

    The real problem for me, is when people keeping making the same mistake but return to me for advice. Like you say, they probably just want an ear. I tend to loose my patience with these kid of people.
    Good luck

    Codis Hampton II

  4. I love to give advice via my blog, face-to-face, phone, email, Twitter, and etc. The reason why I give it is it has proven results. People have a desire to hear my advice because they know I’m going to tell them something they need to hear. Also, one can have a particular gift for giving advice and that’s what I have, so I use my gift for its designed purpose. People need to be given brutal advice, especially when that advice has the intention to cause them to avoid disaster and/or to move to a higher level. I can, however, respect your personal reasons for not giving advice.

    1. I like giving advice, I mean I really do. Even though I have a tendency to pull no punches, it’s all love, sometimes I may hurt someone’s feelings but then they’ll come back and thank me later. And sometimes they’ll ask another person the same thing but will accept what that person says because it was said in a different way. I like to help people and I hate to see someone bust their head against a brick wall especially if they don’t have to, but if I’m going to give advice I have be me, admittedly I can probably stand to be a little more nicer, but I have to be me.

  5. No one will really admit it, but a lot of people will ask for advice, knowing good and well they don’t want to hear what you have to say. I think their intent is initially for validation, and if you disagree or tell them what they don’t want to hear, it makes it worse. I liken it to the good ‘ol “Hello, how are you?” routine, and you really couldn’t give a damn how the person is doing.

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