If you notice, I don’t give a lot of advice, whether it’s in my posts or when I’m replying to comments; I’m not much of an advice giver. My non-advice-giving is not by happenstance, but actually by design, due to a couple of factors. For starters I don’t feel I’m the best person to provide advice. That’s not to say that I don’t have wisdom that can be shared or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I have skeletons the height of Shaq and the girth of precious in my closet and therefore may not be the best person to give counsel when I don’t always take my own advice.
Another reason why I don’t give advice is because I’m brutally honest. If you are looking to have a pity party, then don’t call me. I only know how to give advice one way and that’s to shoot from the hip. If you are looking for someone to be a yes man and an enabler, you got the wrong one jack. I don’t sugarcoat or tell the person what they want to hear, if you are f*cking up and you are at fault, I’m going to tell you are f*cking and you’re at fault. Because this can be too harsh for someone it has led lead to hurt feelings and ended several friendships along the way. Even though I was hurt that the friendships ended, I wasn’t hurt by the cause of the friendship ending. I can lie to you and let you walk through life like it’s everybody else that’s tripping and not you and let you get an even ruder awakening later or I can tell you the truth that you need to hear. Basically if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t call me.
I also don’t give advice because I don’t always know when the best time to give it is. I’m not saying that I disregard the person that is coming to me for advice feelings or that I don’t care what they have to say. My problem is not always being able to tell the difference between being a shoulder to lean on and an advice giver. This tends to get me in trouble more with my female friends, when, after they’ve poured their heart out to me, I immediately start in with giving advice (what can I say, I’m a fixer), which is sometimes met with a side eye or a sigh. I do it out of love and habit, I truly am listening to what the person is saying which leads to the advice that I give, but sometimes the other person just wants to vent and I have to be more aware of that. So since this is a problem, I now wait for the other person to ask for my advice.
So that’s it, these are some reasons why I don’t give advice like some other bloggers.
Do you ever find it hard to give advice or know when to? Maybe the other person just can’t handle the truth or you’re like me and you don’t know when to be an ear and when to give advice.
Talk to me, I’ll talk back.