Quick question, which is more desirous of marriage – men or women? I think the easy answer would be women. And how could it not, when, since the womb, women have been reared towards monogamy and, ultimately, marriage. From their parents teaching them to find a good husband to settle down with to every Disney cartoon with a prince and a princess hooking up and falling in love happily ever after, influence of marriage is everywhere. Even though this may seem harmless, it could lead to added and unwanted pressure, depression, to feelings of failure, since some women base the validity of their lives on being married with children.
When it comes to men, it’s a different set of rules. We aren’t necessarily groomed for marriage or even prepared. I don’t speak for every man so this is just my opinion. My father never pushed me towards marriage or talked about it much, but he did prepare me to be the best provider and protector of my future family. Now this may seem like a contradiction and it probably is but my father stressed family more than marriage, I guess in his own way he was teaching me about marriage but not as obvious as he would if he had a daughter.
Now our upbringing cannot solely be blamed for this, since like everything else in life, we mature and become more cognizant of as we grow older. As time goes on and we learn what marriage is and about, some learn the importance of it while others turn a blind eye to the concept and never mature, choosing to play the same games they played as a child, but this time while dating.
These two difference of philosophies about marriage can and sometimes does lead to a disconnect between men and women when they are dating. You have one party that sees marriage as the light at the end of the tunnel and another party who is indifferent to the whole notion. This is sometimes the reason why you have the “five year engagement” and questions “about where is this heading”? Again one party has an end in sight to dating while the other one doesn’t know what the end is, which leads to resentment and feelings of the best years of her life being wasted.
Despite the difference of ideologies a common purpose can be reached, hopefully it’s before the aisle. This isn’t to say that all women prefer marriage to men, or that all men are more blasé about it than women. But the fact that such difference of opinions can lead to marriage it’s going to take a lot of maturing, but it can be done.
So how can two different opinions on marriage lead to holy matrimony?
Talk to me, I’ll talk back.