Who You Calling A Bitch?

It's not what they call you, but what you answer to.
It’s not what they call you, but what you answer to.
When did women become bitches? I don’t mean answering to a man that called them a bitch, accepting and owning up to being various forms of bitches. It seems like women refer to themselves as bitches without having being called one.

Thanks to rappers Lil Kim (Queen Bitch), Trina (the baddest Bitch) and Foxy Brown, it seems like some women welcome being a bitch like it’s a badge of honor. Forget signing up for the Girls Scouts I want to be a bitch. Even model turned rapper Lola Monroe has her own Boss Bitch movement which is suppose to be a female empowerment movement O_o. We don’t believe you, you need more people. I don’t know just how much a woman can feel empowered when the first thing people see and think of is Bitch.

It might be easy to blame the younger generation for the growning acceptance of being a bitch. But let’s look in the mirror and take ownership of what we’ve allowed to slip by. How many times when you were younger have you referred to your girlfriends as “my bitches”? Or how many times did you sing along to Biggie Smalls “Me and my bitch“? Or refered to yourself as your mans “ride or die bitch”?

It seems like all accountability is thrown out the window in favor of “taking the power away from a word” just like Nigger, and becoming that word. This reasoning has the Paula Deens and Kramers of the world thinking it’s okay to say Nigger because “they say it all the time”. Why should a man feel like he is wrong for calling a woman out her name when she embraces it?

Now I’m not implying that men should be let off the hook since we are probably to blame for all of this. But at some point in time some women stopped being mad at men for calling them bitches and started becoming the bitches that men were calling them. I can’t say that hip hop is to blame for this since the rappers had to get it from somewhere. Maybe us men said the word for so long that some women were tired of fighting back. Or maybe just maybe some women use the word as an excuse for not being the daughters, sisters, wifes, and girlfriends that they should be.

I know I don’t have the right nor am I trying to chastise women on how they think of themselves . This is just an obserevation of a change I’ve noticed the last decade and a half.

What do you think brought on the change in attitude towards the word? Does the word still hold the same negative meaning it has always? Or have those that embraced it took away all the power like NWA tried to do with the word Nigger?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy With The Tilted Slim.

12 thoughts on “Who You Calling A Bitch?

  1. It is sad that so many women are identifying themselves this way. I for one do not want to be involved with a bitch. I don’t care how positive a woman thinks it is.

    1. That’s just it, how positive can the word bitch be? I am not a fan of people using the N word as something positive, like when men say I am they are a real n*gga!!! Do you even know what they word means and you want to be a real that? And I can’t get behind the same thing when it comes to the word bitch. Thank you for commenting.

  2. I do not like hearing a lady referred to as a bitch just as I am no fan of the words nigger or nigga. To hear someone like JZ (speaking as a guest on Oprah’s OWN) say that the hip hop generation has made the word nigga a term of endearment is shocking. No person, rapper, or generation of rappers can really justify trying to erase historical events of our people being sold, family members torn apart, hanged by white mobs, ripped from their homeland, custom, religion, and name taken away, treated as less than human, etc. etc. etc. by pronouncing it nigga instead of nigger. Give me a break. We should embrace our blackness but not by calling each other a nigga. You want to know the meaning of either word, ask the KKK. As far as my black sisters, mothers, etc. Names called should be a sign of respect. The word Bitch is not associated with respect as far as I know.

    1. I find it especially repulsive when a woman calls another woman a b*tch. It’s degrading and I can never get behind tolerating it. In fact, to me, any type of abusive ad hominem is unacceptable. We can argue, disagree, fight, cuss, yell, hell I don’t care but when it comes to calling ANYONE anything other than their name, it’s a turn off. That’s when I tune out. The heart of the matter is self-respect. No self-respecting, self-loving and mature person will call or allow to be called demeaning insults nor will they stand by, stand still and ignore some disrespectful bull sh*t being hurled around the atmosphere breaking down everything in it’s path.

      1. Not only is it degrading but it’s dumfounding how some accept it and live up to it. Like it’s admirable to be a bitch and every young girl should aspire to be one. The fact that the word is used so freely withou push back is disturbing.

    2. I agree, no matter how you change the spelling of a word the meaning is still the same. I think our self pride/worth has all but vanished. Why else would so many of us accept and relish being something that has been used to degrade us. It’s not like we don’t know the history, but I guess the question is do we care? Thank you for your comment.

  3. First of all great article topic! Unfortunately, one many of us won’t even want to address.
    The answer to your question is easy. The solution for reversing this trend is not so easy, or so simple.
    The simple answer is that when kids hear this term so frequently (on the street, and in their schools, some , and possibly many hear it in the homes) then it becomes a term that is repeated freely without any conviction at all being felt.
    Why wouldn’t they do it when all of the resources that they have at their disposal say it, reinforce it, and brainwash them into believing that there isn’t any alternative term that supersedes the “n”, and “b” words. It’s the words of first choice, and thee in lies the travesty.
    The solution begins with the parents, but within that solution also lies a problem all by itself. The fact that children are having children and those infants are in the company of young parents who don’t know how to be adults. And how could they when they are still children in age, and maturity.
    The fact that we are asking the question is equal to the dog chasing it’s tail. The dog won’t get it, and we seem to not get it either.
    We are waiting too long to instill values, and morals in these kids.The time we want to instill values is backwards. In other words, we want to erase a bad habit instead of identifying what are the wrong habits to grab hold of, and using proper teaching, and monitoring to insure that they don’t feel comfortable practicing those wrong things out in public.
    The village approach helps to insure that they don’t have many places to freely adopt these bad morals , and values.
    However, the younger parents (those who don’t have the maturity to recognize, and participate in this valuable concept) don’t want anyone else telling their child9ren) what they should, and shouldn’t do.
    I’m 55 years old. My parents generation has endured so much with having to forge a path for us while having to face segregation, and inequalities that my generation were spared because of their sacrifices, and their struggles, and their active engagement to ensure segregation was squashed. With all that on their plate they didn’t have the time to gather us around the table( to sort of speak) to tell us what traps that we should be aware of , and which ones not to fall into.The fact that they didn’t tell us left us with nothing to pass down to our children. IMO! I don’t speak across the board, but it is not a small number of the population that I refer too.
    Traps like committing petty crimes, and selling drugs, and stealing (period) whether in the community, or outside of the community. To respect one another(enough so not to call one another the “n” word. or the “b ” word) , and refer to one another by our “God given” names. I’ll stop here, but there is so much more that we need to (as a people ) to discuss. It’s a shame that we can’t devote 2 weekends from partying, and have necessary discussions for our improvement.(self, and community) during those crucially needed dates. God Bless, and Conbtinue the fight. It is not in vain!

    1. Are there any villages left? Most people are content with “I’m gettig mine” attitude to build and share with thier neighbor. I partly agree with you about “waiting too long instill values”, but first there must be values to instill. Self respect is all but vanished and like you said baby’s are having baby’s. So if the parent havent learned self respect or values how can they pass it on? Thank you for commenting, I’m going to continue to try to drop jewels whenever I can.

  4. What do you think brought on the change in attitude towards the word?

    We live in a time where ‘self-respect’ and dignity have both long left the building, and instead replaced by reckless, self depreciating attitudes masquerading as confidence.

    Once this has occurred, the individual is acknowledging that he/she places little to no value upon themselves.

    Does the word still hold the same negative meaning it has always?

    To everyone except the willfully ignorant who have manufactured a false sense of empowerment from a word who’s only power and purpose is one of dehumanization and subjugation.

    Or have those that embraced it took away all the power like NWA tried to do with the word Nigger?
    Nonsense. How is it ever possible to take away power from a word that was never yours to begin with? The foolish fool only themselves while the rest of the world points and laughs.

    Good write up.

    Mr. SoBo

    1. First of all I want to say thank you for taking the time out to read and comment, I really appreciate it. Second you make some good points, words have power and no matter how you change the spelling the meaning and power will never change.

      Selof respect is a thing of the past and for the right price can be sold. It’s not cool to have knowledege or love of self, that’s why you see fights being uploaded to World Star or little girls making “twerk videos”. The thing that “makes us” is marketable now.

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