You know being that I am the best thing since sliced bread and the microwave, this allows me certain liberties, liberties like leaping hood rats in a single hop, rescuing dollar bills that have fallen and willing LeBron James hairline to grow back. I’m still working on that one. Liberties that others may not be granted. So because I’m allowed these liberties this makes me kind of a big deal, urban legend almost and a scholar (think of me as a modern day 6’2 curly haired Nostradamus).
Now the scholar in me causes me to question everything like what is the meaning of life and why are we here, and shit. These and other burning questions have lead me on the path towards enlightenment and info.
I am going to share with you some of the other things that makes me ponder deep shit. I wrote a song about it, like to hear it hear it go.
Why do I need ID to get ID?
This makes no sense to me. The whole purpose of me getting ID is because I don’t have ID. Other than moving to another state and getting that state’s ID or driver license and providing my previous state’s ID why else would I need ID?
Who shot J.R. Ewing?
I use to watch Dallas in the 80’s and still haven’t figured out who shot Jr. Ewing.
Why do people let other’s cause them to have low self esteem?
In the words of Kat Williams, “it’s called self esteem, it’s esteem of your motherf*****g self, how can I f*ck up how you feel about you”? I understand some of us go through things in life that may cause us to doubt ourselves. But to allow someone’s opinion of us to mean more than our own is beyond me. With or without that person we still have to live our life. We shouldn’t need their love more than we need our own.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Does anyone know? I sure don’t. After licking for what seems like forever I always say f*ck it and just bite into it, no Jason Collins.
Why do Hot dogs come 10 to a pack while buns come 8 to a pack?
Why? Wouldn’t it make more sense to either package them the same or at least pack more hot dogs than buns? At least that way you can use regular bread?
How old is Morgan Freeman?
I swear Morgan Freeman was born in 1912, with a head full of grey hair. Every time I see him play a character in a movies I multiply the characters age by 7, like dog years. Are we sure Morgan isn’t a descendent of Methuselah?
When will Donald Trump cut off that comb over loin cloth?
Donald aint fooling nobody, he’s been having the same comb over since 83, he needs to let it go. I think Donald could loan LeBron James some hair and still wouldn’t be missing hair.
Like I said these are some of the hundreds of pressing questions that keep me up at night, wondering what the answers are. Do you have any? And if so please share.
Talk to me, I’ll talk back.
Breazy The Scholar.