We’re A Couple Now???

I don't know why he acting all stressed out, just because he didn't know we are in a relationship doesn't mean we aren't.
I don’t know why he acting all stressed out, just because he didn’t know we are in a relationship doesn’t mean we aren’t.
Guy meets girl, guy’s whole intention is to get in girls pants, girl knows that guy wants to get into girls pants and is all to happy to show guy just how fast she can make her YKK disappear. Guy and girl play naked Wii tennis and perfect Melvin’s squatting technique for about month, while being just friends with flexible spending accounts. On the 31st day girl asks guy where is this going, to which guy responds “Baby, you know I love your flap jacks and dental plan, I thought we were just having fun!” which sends girl through the roof and causes her to think twice about ordering those French vanilla flavored edible panties.

Of course this is a fictional tale (or is it??), but how many times have hearts and car windows been broken for not following commandment No. 1 of the 10 Cuffin Commandments? Or, how many times have you found yourself giving more of yourself because you think that you are in a relationship, while the other person thinks y’all are just kicking it? I can’t count how many times my female/male friends told me about how some guy/girl they’ve been sleeping with ain’t shit because he/she wants to act like they are in a relationship, but doesn’t want to commit.

Now usually when I hear their complaints, I ask a series of questions; were either of you clear with your expectations in the beginning i.e., are you just looking for a Cuffin buddy to show off your hip stretching techniques or did you make it known that you were looking for a relationship? Most of the time the answer I get, and I hear this mostly from women, is that even if the guy tells them that he just wants to have fun and hangout, after a few times of doing the horizontal mambo, the woman feels like they are in a relationship. Basically, after you reach that magic number of sexual encounters, the coochie becomes an unspoken handshake agreement for a relationship. I mean, we told you we didn’t want anything serious and you agreed, we were consistent while you were the one that changed, but yet “we aint shit”.

I understand that for some people, and by people I mean women, sex can become emotional especially if she grows to like the person she’s spending time with, while for men, sex is and will always be just sex. That’s why we can sleep with someone who we may not like, may be mad at or because it’s Tuesday. We as men we tend to think that if we made it clear what we wanted or didn’t want, even if we are intimate than signals should not get crossed. We didn’t lie and our actions have been consistent, you were the one that changed and caught feelings. On the flip side of that coin, we may not recognize that our actions; the spending time, eating her home cooking, and of course the sex, may send a signal to her that we actually are in a relationship contrary to what we said in the beginning.

They say all is fair in love and war. But is that really true? Can you be the bad guy even if you were honest? And can you be the good guy while not being honest? Is there a way men and women can both be honest without the possiblity of the friendship ending with someone’s feelings being hurt?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy Dee Williams.

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2 thoughts on “We’re A Couple Now???

  1. Breazy, you are my homeboy so I gotta keep it 100. On the real, if the guy keeps on smashing, spending time and money, talking on the phone, letting her cook for him, etc then he IS in a relationship regardless of what his mouth said in the beginning. If a guy thinks that he can do all of this w/ one girl without her catching feelings then he is naive and CRAZY; and is a USER. Some guys will try to use women up to get everything out of them without depositing anything (w/ the exception of maybe a baby), and this is WRONG. Don’t be a LOW LIFE and try to always take. Be your own man and stand on your own 10 toes. Don’t have some chick cooking you dinner, washing your clothes, giving you the good-good, buying you the new J’s and you don’t claim her. WOW!! At least be man enough to explain your position and let her make the choice. If she chooses to still be with you after you have clearly laid out your position then THAT is the true player.

    Not saying that its wrong or right, but when dealing w/ the opposite sex lets just try to be a little more up front and honest in our actions. That will cut down on the slashed tires, broken windows, nasty voice messages, broken screen doors, and anonymous calls to yo mamma house. If you don’t like her like that and are just in it for the good time then let her know. But of course its always a problem for dudes when SHE starts to carry things as just kickin it, even if that’s how he feels.

    As guys we set up unrealistic expectations of women when we first meet them. We want a freaky good-girl that can cook, clean, take care of finances, etc. While she may be these things, she may not display all of these qualities on the first or second date.

    I had my best relationship when I didn’t have any expectations at all. I told her that she gets a one-day contract and if I liked that day then you get another one-day contract. I just focused on me and made sure that I was true to myself with in my own actions. This gave both of us an HONEST chance to evaluate each other and see if we were compatible. It works…

    Peace & Blessings

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