Icebreaker

If one your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit between the holidays?
If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit between the holidays?
If you’ve ever approached a man or a woman at a social function, church, mall or everybody free before 11:00, I’m sure you’ve pondered maybe even hyperventilated over what to say to that person. Knowing the wrong thing could cause you embarrassment and wind up spending the rest of the evening watching old BET Uncut videos on Youtube or checking to see if you have enough D batteries, either way is no bueno.

For some approaching the opposite sex can be a frightening experience especially if you are shy and reserved or just not that good with talking to the opposite sex, and there is nothing wrong with that, we all have our phobias.

But never fear your friendly neighborhood Breazy is here to help you navigate the sometimes troublesome waters of breaking the ice with the don’ts on how to approach the new cute new temp who you wouldn’t mind seeing the thread count of her sheets or the Coropate Thug on the 9th floor, the one you always wondered if he could the three legged race by himself.

1. Don’t (Men) – Be A JERK

When approaching a woman it’s ok to be flirtatious (within reason) and complimentary. Comment on how she looks nice or if you are feeling bold how she’s filling out that dress are ok, oh and you can never go wrong with complimenting on her nice smile, assuming she has a nice smile and all of her teeth. Saying “You look good in that dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor might just get you maced, slapped or cussed and if you live in Detroit all three.

Don’t (Ladies) – Scare us off.

Since men are normally the ones that do the approaching, it’s a nice change of pace when we are approached by a beautiful woman as long as she doesn’t come off too strong to quick. Saying something like you are tall, handsome and I bet you have good genes to make a pretty baby, will cause us to get ghost faster than Ray J’s dignity. Oh and don’t mention how fertile you are.

2. Don’t – Brag.

It’s ok to talk about yourself, how else is the other person going to know anything about you? But do it within reason, sticking to where you are from, what college and what you do for a living is fine. There is nothing worse than a braggart, someone who toots their own horn a little too much causing you to wonder if they had one of their rib cages removed just so they can give their own selves felattio.

3. Physical Talking (Men)

While we don’t mind women touching us, especially if we think that she is into us and what we are saying, the same can’t be said for all women (Unless it Boris Kodjoe). So Unless the woman that you are talking to is feeling you has given you the clearance to land in her runway, touching, her is definitely a no no and depending on where you are you might be on the receiving end of a buck fifty.

4. Talking to close (invading personal space)

This is another one that is geared more towards the ladies. Unless it is understood that it is ok to invade her space even if it is in a crowded area, being, close enough to tell she is wearing Secret Platinum Protection deodorant is way to close and may cause her to say something like “if you don’t get your stank breath ass away from me, you don’t know me like that” which will undoubtedly embarrass the hell out of you.

5. Talking too much.

There is nothing more annoying than someone who talks too much or talks to damn much, you know the types that want to tell you their life story followed up by some random bullshit, just so they can keep you hostage and from talking to who you really wanted to talk to. Since conversations are supposed to be back and forward, dominating the conversation and talking endlessly on end will make us think of taking our own lives just so we can be rid of you and your motorboat mouth, or slapping the shit out of you.

So that’s it, these are just a few of examples that should help you when it comes approaching the opposite sex. Can you think of anymore?

Breazy.

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