High Expectations.

I hope this date goes well, so I can check her chest in poker.
I hope this date goes well, so I can check her chest in poker.
You all know I’m not a relationship blogger, nor do I pretend to be a relationship expert – even though I am Great and Powerful (the Wizard of Oz aint got shit on me), it’s just not something that I prefer doing. Well it’s not that I don’t prefer doing it, it’s just there are a million and one “relationship” blogs out there, so why add one more?

Well, having said all of that, I do try to drop a relationship Diamond (please don’t give me no Ronny hoe quotes – this has to be my favorite line from The Players Club) , you know since it was filled with memorable quotes which has nothing to do with LeBron James convertible hair line. I swear, every time I look at that headband struggling to cover up his Sade forehead I see it hitting switches and 3 wheel motion.

Where was I? Oh yeah, here is Breazy’s monthly relationship Gem no PMS.

When meeting, dating or trying to decide if you are going show the other person that you can do the Wobble naked, who has more expectations, men or women? Of course if you asked me, I’d say men and since you’re reading this post it’s like you asked.

Women are the ones that can date without any expectations. It’s women that’ll go out with “a nice guy”, because they’ve been in the house all week, happy to get a free meal and a couple of drinks to loosen her up to do all the things “she usually doesn’t do” with the thug that works in the mailroom at work right after her no-expectations date….sometimes even having the date unknowingly drop them off at the dudes house!

Women please don’t try to deny this, I know for a fact this happens, since I’ve been that Corporate Thug and probably the booty call chauffeur, even if it was unknowingly. Believe me when I say that this is cruel and inhuman punishment for any man, almost like turning him into a eunuch and making him watch Sparkle.

On the other hand men don’t date without some type of expectation. We don’t date just because it’s something to do or because the seasons have changed. If you said sex as one of our expectations you would be partly right and partly wrong, sort of like Trinidad James. I mean, what a genius, who knew you could make a hit just from sweating from popping a white girl and rhyming n*gga with n*gga? See men, don’t go on dates just because, to chill or because our neighbor caught us running cable from his house to ours, for two reasons.

Sex. You see, since we are usually the hunters and you always look like food to us, we always have some sort of sexual expectations of you before approaching you. Basically we are already thinking about how can we test your gag reflex before forgetting your name later, hopefully.

Money. You see since men are generally the ones coming out of the pocket for dinner (which can cost upwards of a couple of hundred dollars) we have to be a little critical of who we spend money on. We are not spending the equivalent of our electric bill in one with night just because we like “spending time with you. ” That money could have gone towards a couple pair of Converse Allstars or to help put a stripper through the University of Never. But if we are able to see if your vajayjay be yanking, then we’ll call it even.

Do you agree with me? or do you think that women have more expectations and if so what are they?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy Dee Williams.

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