Murtaugh List (I’m Too Old For This Shit)

I'm too old for this shit
I’m too old for this shit
As I grow older I realize there are some things that just don’t hold my interest like they use to, I don’t f*ck with, or I’m just plain too old for. So to borrow a line from one of my favorite movie franchises (Lethal Weapon) I present to you my Roger Murtaugh aka I’m too old for this shit list.

40 oz’s.

I have to admit that I have killed plenty of the crooked, letter St. Ides and the OG Bobby Johnson of Malt liquor Olde English 800 in my day. Since I’m not in the hood wearing a flannel shirt, 99cent locs(sunglasses) with plats in my hair I put the 8ball down a long time ago.


I don’t mean fashion as a whole, but what passes for fashion today. You can’t tell who is who anymore the days especially if you are looking at the youth of today from the back. You have men wearing pants that show off their hips and women dressing like cleo from Set it Off.


Again not music as a whole but today’s music. I never thought that I would be repeating the words of my parents, ” what is this noise on the radio” but that’s the position today’s RnB and Rap (not Hip Hop) has me in. While I don’t knock it, but between racks on racks and throwing ones in the air I am confused, am I shopping at Nordstrom or putting a stripper through college.


Today’s slang has me lost in translation. between popping a Molly and smoking on that Keisha I don’t know If white women should fear for there lives or be happy they are the new drug of choice.

I got 5 on it.

I’m sorry homie but I am too old to be pitching in on a community sack.

Sagging pants.

Now this is not to say that I am a fan of men wearing skinny jeans but this isn’t 1992 and I’m not trying to make you jump like Kriss Kross.

Today’s sports stars

Do you know during the 80’s and 90’s Magic Johnson would have never text Larry Bird, call him, be his friend let alone team up with him? During that time IMO players were more competitive and didn’t care about being liked unlike powder puff Dwight Howard or LeBron James joining Dewayne Wade on the Miami Heat.

Video Vixens

Today’s Hoefessionals aka video vixens don’t have nothing on the OG arm candy of Darlene Ortiz, who not only was naturally beautiful but her pictures didn’t need touching up and she could hold her own, plus I’d drink her bath water through a straw slowly.

Well that’s all I can think of for my Murtaugh list, I’m sure I’ll think of some later. What is on your Murtaugh list? Please feel free to add.

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.


5 thoughts on “Murtaugh List (I’m Too Old For This Shit)

    1. Actually no, Darlene has been a personal favorite of mine and others that I know for over 20 years. Who better to compare to today’s video vixens than her. If she was from Minnesota she would still be a favorite of mine.

  1. I think you pretty much hit most things on the head… This morning I was listening to Johnnie Taylor,Stephanie Mills,Al Green,Bobby Womack and the likes remembering when things were pure and from the heart. …A time when Soap Operas involved Erica Cane and not real people turned celebs… I dont have a facebook,twitter,Instagram etc.. Nothing against it but I enjoy life when people picked up the phone to talk… I suppose I dont have time for the antics of the 20th century. Seems everyone always in a hurry,so worried about tomm they forget to appreciate the beauty of today.

    1. Partying: All that jumping around,loud mess.. Besides I can barely stay
      Getting Wasted: Shit I just dont have it in me any more.
      Gossip: If your a mature adult everyone shouldnt let you tell it be hating on you. Shut your damn mouth about others.
      Papparazi: I think they cross lines and ruin live.
      Celebrity Couples: Damn let them people live!!
      Porn: I love porn but now a bitch getting her face stepped on while getting backshots is mild…
      Maybe were just old and taking on the voice of our parents.. lol

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