Why does “Wanting To Understand” Matters So Much?

What do you mean my hair won't grown, I just want to understand.
What do you mean my hair won’t grown, I just want to understand.
Maybe it’s a man thing but I can’t for the life of me understand why “wanting to understand” is so important to women, friendships/relationships could end yet some women can’t move on or be satisfied with the outcome until they know why or understand why it ended as if it’s going to change the outcome. Why is moving on sometimes dependent on knowing why?

How many times have relationships ended for whatever reason and some women can’t process or move on until they roll around in her head what happened or try to get to the bottom of why it ended by asking the same question a thousand times? It seems the concept of just walking away without looking in the rear view mirror is as foreign as teaching Tiny the concept of enunciation. When it comes to cracking case women are natural detectives that can’t close the case until they have the murder weapon and signed confession basically makin them naturals for the Next 48 hours.

I won’t get into the whole women are from a different planet than men but it’s safe to say that both sexes handle situations differently, most women that I know seem to purposefully be stuck in neutral and don’t want to put the past behind them for the sake of “why”. Is it easier for men to move on than women or are we just quick to say f*ck it, throw our hands up and move on to the next, suggesting that we are less in tune with our feelings and emotions than women, or do we just handle things that end better?

Now me being the kind of man who I am when things end, they end and no amount of understanding or new information will change things. I can distance myself from situations or relationships that have run their course, basically I don’t need to know the who, what, when, where and how of why things are no longer they, just are.

Maybe it’s easy for me to say this because I never felt the need for closure, again knowing why something happened is not going to change what happened, I refuse to give someone or something that much power over me to the point that I can’t move on with the rest of my life until I know why?

Ladies why does “understanding why” matter so much? Am I being a typical man who doesn’t understand. Have you been a situation where you couldn’t move on until you know reason?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.



16 thoughts on “Why does “Wanting To Understand” Matters So Much?

  1. Lets first take into account women are breed to be nutures,good listeners,and in-tune with our inner self. Men are not,you guys dont really have a outlet. To show emotions is suppose to mean weak or less than.
    Women love and think differently,we need to simply analyze and understand a situation so we can try and avoid it or see the signs if a simular situation arise later.
    Lets say a man is cheating: He forgets to clear his phone,have an alibi,use soap,use his credit card..Hell I could go on. But people have been cheating forever yet men still slip on the basics. A woman wouldnt because were attentive and understand a slip of one domino can cause the whole tower to tumble..

  2. I have been in love one and was cheated on”the pain was like fire to my chest”. I made him sit there and tell me every and I mean every detail!!! I needed to viaualize. See where we went wrong,exaxtly how we got to that point. In relationships most cases(some people are just low-down) events/things happen to lead to a fall-out in which you seek understanding(because a understanding is the best thing to have) and closure. If nothing more to simply have a peace of mind.. Women/ Men are so diffrent asking Why still wont get you any closer to an ans. Why are men so closed off and emotionless? Half ans questions? Or say yes when they didnt hear the question?

      1. Yes I saw some terrible habits we had gained along the lines. I learned that I was difficult to talk to and made him feel like a child when I spoke to him. Most importantly I got so caught up in my life I wasnt very supportive(apparently her ummm Yanni did all those things). I found that I was bored and though I could forgive him I loved him enough to let him go.. Seeee… Because I was able to express myself with my clothes on…

      2. I was trying to find you this statistic I read a while back in regards to men taking life issues(especially bad breakups in which the woman cheated) Harder than women because men unlike women have no one to talk to as women have friends/friends etc. Men carry things just as much as women they just express it diffrently..

      3. I admit I have a habit of holding things in, and I can understand the need to have someone to talk to, I guess I’m still trying to figure out why wanting to know is such a big deal.

      4. Is ignoring really dealing with??.. Simply women choose to acknowledge and as you said were nosy..lol

  3. I’ll have to agree with Lynette’s first comment, for the most part. To your point that men deal with the endings of things better I’ll agree, but I add the addendum that dealing better only happens when we choose to.

    Some men aren’t willing to take the time deal with their feelings. We’ll internalize the emotions that women want answers to. So while they may be more intune to their feelings, they’re also generally more emotionally healthy as well.

  4. Because if you don’t know how/when/where things went wrong – you are doomed to repeat your mistakes.

    Here’s another way of putting it – if you watched a movie or read a book and in the last minute or last page just ended without tying everything together – you’d question seeing another movie by that director or book written by that author. It’s satisfying when you aren’t left scratching your head saying wait… What??

  5. yeah I can’t get with this, “most women…most men” thing. I have men from 20 years ago still stuck in the past. I think it goes both ways. And you are right not to give people that kind of power over you. Who cares what they think? You need to figure out what YOU think and make that the most important answer.

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