I’ve been staring at this computer screen for about 6 hours and I still can’t think of anything to write. so I’m going to write about the best and easiest thing I know to write about, ME so in the words of Mya It’s all about Me and Tupac This Is The Realest hit I Ever Wrote.
I want to tell you why I do this, why I write, its therapeutic. I will not professional writers by saying that I am a writer but I will say that just like professional writers I give all of myself into what I do write.
The posts that I write allow me to pour my blood on to the pages and hopefully give you all something that you enjoy. Truth be told even if I was writing for myself or just 1 reader I would still write. You see writing is therapeutic for me, you may not know this but I carry a lot with me, the smile that I wear on my face and my laid back demeanor is the true outside me but it masks what is going on internally kind of like tears of a clown.
The phrase that I used about pouring out my blood is more than a sentence in a post, it’s the truth and something I know all too well. I am a cutter and for every cut that is on my arms represent tears that won’t shed. I won’t go into when I started, how often I do it or why I started but believe me when I say exhilarating, it gives me a rush and it allows me to vent and release. I haven’t cried in years and not because I didn’t want to, I have experienced pain, loss and disappointment like everybody else but for some odd reason I cannot cry so the blood that drips from my cuts are the tears that don’t fall. I know that it’s not healthy but just like other addictions such as substance abuse, alcoholism or porn this is something that I struggle with everyday. But thanks to this blog and you the readers. I have found a more constructive way of expressing my feelings and emotions.
So I guess you all are the real reason why I do this, thnak you for giving me a platform to express myself.