Cuffin Season is upon us

Cuffin Season contract

For those that aren’t aware what Cuffin Season is, it’s the time of year when the weather turns from warm to cold, and women and men alike search for someone to spend those cold winter nights with. Cuffin Season can either be the start of something beautiful and long-lasting or a 3 month hibernation for those that at any other time of the year would be considered deficient in the looks department. So no matter how Cuffin Season turns out for you and yours; here are the “10 Crack Cuffing Commandments to get your game on track, not ya wig pushed back.”

1. Be Honest from 21 Jump Street.

Do you know how many mens’ tires have been slashed, windows have been broken and women’s throats choked because someone wasn’t honest in their intentions in the beginning? I know it’s not black love unless the local PD knows your name but to prevent all of that from happening, just tell the truth from jump.

2. Don’t get too comfortable too soon.

Cuffin Season has been known to give some people a false sense of security and confidence. Just because you were invited for a little naked Wii bowling and a slumber party, does not mean your name will be put on the lease or mortgage. Unless you have Rihanna’s Thundercat and you can cause the light-skinned beef heard around the world, or given the option to move in, for some, Cuffin season maybe shorter than Jermaine Dupri with braids.

3. Cuff someone you half way get along with.

Look, relationships can be hard enough as it is, and if you know that yours is going last as long as the basketball season, at least make sure it’s with someone you can tolerate.

4. Have realistic expectations.

Just because it’s cold outside and options may be limited compared to the spring or summer months does not mean Pam is going to settle for you, Cole. Also, while those with a lot to go around are more desirable in the winter than summer that does not mean all you Gabourey Sidibe’s of the world will be taking any Michael Ealy’s home with you.

5. Whoever you are Cuffin is not a substitute teacher.

In the beginning the only person that knows (or thinks they know) how long cuffin season is going to last is the hunter. With that being said, no matter how long Cuffin Season lasts treat the other person with the same respect that you want to be treated with.

6. Do give the other person space.

Even though it’s cold outside that doesn’t mean you should magnetize yourself to your “new boo.” Yes people tend to stay inside and cuddle more as opposed to going out during the fall and winter months, but that doesn’t mean they dont’t value their own space. So while you may want to run the 3 legged race every night, don’t feel bad if they give you the Heisman stiff arm.

7. Don’t settle.

If you mother is a quarter, then you must be a dime, and if you are a dime in the summer months, you are a dime in the winter months. Just because you get a little lonely at the thought of spending another holiday season alone doesn’t mean you should fall for my dude Supa Day.

8. Don’t expect to meet family members – especially mothers – until further notice.

Again, since only one of you supposedly knows how long Cuffin Season is going to last, don’t expect to be invited to family functions or introduced to family members – especially mothers. Here is a sure fire way to tell whether you are the starting point guard or sixth man: if he/she brings you an aluminum foiled plate for either Thansgiving, Christmas or both and says something like “you know my mother doesn’t like you” chances are you’re just a bench player.

9. Have fun.

Whether it’s a one night stand or a one life stand, Cuffin Season still can be fun as long as it’s done responisbly.

10. Stick to the agreement stated in the Cuffin Season contract.

Last but not least; to keep everything on an even keel and to prevent your situation from becoming a future idea for a reality show, please follow the rules.

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6 thoughts on “Cuffin Season is upon us

  1. I coulda used this reminder back in “Summer Cuffin” season! Woulda made this coming season less complicated! Tryna catch up…thanx1

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