The Curious Case of Chris Brown’s Self Sabotage.

So things aren’t looking too good for Chris Brown. By the way, is it me or does his head look like a dirty tennis ball? Anywho, “mama I killed a man.” It appears that his Leroy from Fame shenanigans might cause him to do some time for living out his O-dog aspirations. With two legal cases pending, it seems that Brown has a bit of an anger problem; one for punching an overzealous fan after words were exchanged and the other for being booted from court order rehab for substance abuse.22

Now, I’m not judging the dude, but I have to say that his penchant for self sabotage is a head scratcher to me. It seems to me that he is hell bent on throwing away everything that he’s worked for. Hell… I wonder if he likes being free. It’s almost as if he is suffering from institutionalization but in reverse.

I mean, you would think that being on probation already for using Rihana’s forehead (you know she has a lot on her mind) as a sparing partner would have learned him and caused his ass to sit down. But oh no, you would be wrong, apparently that was just the catalyst he needed to become a Bad Boy… take that, take that.

I know Brown is human and is entitled to make mistakes just like the rest of us, but how many more times does he need to touch the stove before he learns that it’s hot? He is young but making the mistakes that he’s made doesn’t absolve him of any wrongdoing. Forget making videos of himself pleading for forgiveness. Maybe he should try to get whatever help he needs, stick with it and get some of those un-loyal n*ggas out of his circle, because clearly they don’t have his best interest in mind.

All in all, I really hope that Chris can turn things around while manning up to whatever punishment, if any, is handed down to him.

What do you think? Do you think Chris is too entitled to see the error in his ways? Or do you think that this will be the wake up call that he needs?

Talk to me, I’ll talk back.

Breazy Tha Narrator.

I’ve Been Gone for a Minute, Now I’m Back With the JumpOff.

By now, I’m pretty sure you can tell that something has been amiss this year with me and Corner Politicsback. You have noticed that I haven’t been blogging consistently while not having posted anything in over a month. “I want to lie to you sometimes, but I can’t. I want to tell you it’s all good, but it ain’t” – shout out to Ceelo Goodie. I wish I could tell you that I’ve been riding around getting it; or that I’ve been in the lab cooking up some dope shit; or building my empire, but the truth is, I wasn’t. Something happened during the last few months of last year and just about every area in my life was affected, particularly blogging.

Now usually when something happens, I am able to shake it off pretty quickly, move on, and if nothing else, continue to write and blog. Writing and blogging are my sanctuaries.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case this time around. You see, I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to be at the time, literally and figuratively.  I wasn’t happy where I was, so I neglected some things. Even though I’ve never stopped loving to blog and write, I have to be honest and say that my passion for it waned a little, and it was because of what was happening.

Today, I am writing to tell you that I am back to form now and I apologize for leaving those of you who enjoy my blog hanging… and oh yeah, I’m back to talking grade A shit. So please bare with me as I get back into a consistent groove and be on the look out for more of my famous, classic shit talking – you should have never gave this nigga a blog.

I’d like to thank Michelle “Biscuit” Bynum for keeping me afloat with posts on Mondays. If you haven’t checked out her blog Hot mess life, then please make sure that you do so. She is a very funny, insightful and talented blogger.

Thank you to those who support ya boy.

Breazy B. Ware.

The “Hip Hop – Old School Bar Crawl

It's about that time!

It’s about that time!

You all know the Deal!!! or Do You???

The Hip “Hop” is back for the Spring time Edition!
***This is the 6th Edition***

A Bar Crawl is When individuals go from bar to bar in a small vicinity drinking so much at the first few bars that by the time they get to the last one they’re crawling from drunkenness.

There will be a DJ at each one of the bars spinning a different genre of Old School Hip Hop(details below).

The point ladies and gentlemen is to make it to all the bars. So no fashionably late, no CP Time and No cutting out early. With that being said You may join the crawl at any stage. Just make sure you know the times for each bar so you can find us.

$10 Wristbands will be sold all day at all the venues
$25 T-Shirts will be sold at Duffy’s and Pure(the 1st and last bars)

The Bar Crawl will be moving down the U (st.)
Each DJ will spin for 30 minutes extra before and after the set listing as to space out moving to the next bar.

2-4p: Duffys (2106 Vermont Ave NW DC)
DJ SINGH SLIM: “Hip Hop Drunkies” (Old School Hip Hop associated with alcohol)

Specials: 1/2 Price wings, $3 PBR, $5 Hurricanes

4-5p: Lounge of Three (1013 U st. NW DC)
DJ ROZ: 80′s Hip Hop

Specials: $4.00 Heineken, $5.00 Margaritas

5-6p: Solly’s (1942 11th St NW DC)
BRO_DJ: “Def Flip Mobb Clan” (ALL VINYL SET) (Strictly Def Squad| Flipmode Squad| Mobb Deep | Wu-Tang Clan )

Specials: $3.50 PBR Tall Boy, $5.00 Rum Punch,

6-7p:Tap and Parlour (2001 11th St, NW DC)
DJ KAYO: Dirty South

Specials: $4.00 Miller Lt , $4.00 Jack Daniels

7-8p: Islander (1201 U St NW DC)
DJ JIMMY PHINGAZ: Primo vs Neptunes (music produced by DJ Premier or The Neptunes)
Specials (???)

8p-___???: Pure (1326 U St, NW)
Grand Finale – 6 DJs (no Fireworks though)…
DJ OSO FRESH
DJ HARVEY DENT
DJ QUE
DJ K META
DJ RBI
DJ SHABLAST

Specials: $5 Corona, $6 Jameson (7:30-9pm)

Let’s Go!!!!

Brought to you by
1920dc
RegMoPromo Holdings, Inc.

The Situation Room


situation

Here are two simple facts: When one is involved with another individual (emotionally, physically, etc.) they are either involved in a legitimate relationship or they are not. However, because no one in the “Not” category wants to publicly admit they are not officially committed to the other person, they have a desire to call it something well, that it’s NOT. This is an obscure place in your mind where you think you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but no one is claiming these titles. You’re not seeing anyone else but you unsure if they are, but you do all the things real couples do. Kiss. Make up. Fight about nothing. Argue over what that last text really meant. Understand this and understand it very carefully: You are not in a relationship people, so stop acting like it is. You are in a place similar to the Bermuda Triangle, where socks and hair ties disappear, and where the Loch Ness Monster resides- an environment where facts are scarce and things goes missing (like your sanity). You my friend, are in The Situation Room.

 

People who are in the Situation Room are not in relationships. If asked about the  guy that’s been taking them out every night around 11pm, they will state that this is their “friend”. If they are constantly quizzed about the girl they’ve been seeing from back home and if this the “one”, a mumbled explanation that it is not really a relationship but a “situation” may spill from their lips. There is never a clear definition as to what these people mean in their lives, and how they are introduced to each other’s friends-if they even do that. Most people will come away from these conversation just as confused as the person in the “situation”. These conversations usually go a little something like this:

 

Inquiring Mind:  “Well, are you seeing anyone else?”

Confused Soul: “Not really.”

Inquiring Mind: “Are they dating anyone else?”

Confused Soul: “Uh, I don’t’ think so.”

Inquiring Mind: “So, is this your boyfriend?”

Confused Soul: “No. But he pretty much is. I mean, he’s not ready for a commitment, but we know we mean a lot to each other so it’s complicated. I mean, I’m not waiting around for him, but I really think he’s going to realize that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I even think he loves me, but he doesn’t know how to express himself. It’s super complicated…

Inquisitive Mind: 

 

My head hurts just running this fictitious and ridiculous conversation through my brain. The reason it hurts so much is that I usually have this conversation with my friends 1-2 times per week. Sometimes the conversation is about them, sometimes it’s me trying to explain myself and my “situation”. But usually it’s about me.  Trying to explain your “situation” to someone is like attempting to justify in plain language why Carrie picked Big over Aiden. Why Shaquille O’Neal has a commentary job. Why snacking on carrot sticks is better than eating popcorn. All potentially good in theory, but it really doesn’t make any sense. Being in this confusing state of emotions is tiring, exhausting, frustrating, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Well, maybe I would, but I would really have to loathe someone to wish them into a situational “relationship”. The most frustrating aspect of this dilemma is that we do it to ourselves.

Ladies and Gentlemen, no one puts baby in a “situation”. Only you can do that to yourself. From what I was told recently over large amounts of wine and Heineken is that men are simple creatures. As a man, you know exactly what you want and if you want it bad enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it. I know men who have stood in line for 2 days just to procure fancy  sneakers. If that guy truly wants to be with a woman, he’ll go get her. Women? We can be a bit more complicated, but essentially we know what we want as well. As least we think we do. But oh, how we love to take up residence in the Situation Room!

Whether we’re hoping that The Situation will eventually ask us to be Mrs. Situation, or if we are waiting for him to change, we allow ourselves to stay in this grey area where you never know where you stand with someone. And no one should feel like that. The only people who should be in situations are those with a “1” in the beginning of their age and those who still pledge allegiance to Justin Bieber ( those little idiots deserve it). Everyone else should act like a grown up and say what you want and expect nothing less. Because if you don’t, you’re stuck in a situation sure to go south at any time. Oh, and here’s a newsflash: You cannot break up with someone if you were never in a relationship to begin with. The problem is, many people out there do not understand this concept. Luckily, you have Hot Mess Life in your life to explain this to you.

 

If neither you nor the person you’re involved with make that commitment to each other and define WHATEVER you’re doing as a relationship, then there is no break-up. There is no cheating. There is no boyfriend and there is no girlfriend. What exists is a situation in which you must simply have the strength to walk away. I’m not here to say that nothing can come from these situations ( yes, the word is being used too much, but that’s the point), but again, you must have the strength to stand up for yourself and demand more. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter- don’t allow yourself to get stuck in a place where you can’t tell your heart from your ass. If you want to be in a relationship, make that clear from the beginning. Otherwise, you might find yourself in an Oprah/Steadman-type scenario where no one knows what’s going on (although I completely understand why Steadman hangs around). Guys and gals, don’t stay in a situation in hopes that the other person will finally realize how great you are and that you fart rainbows, causing them to call you their girlfriend/boyfriend out in public. If you both can’t figure that out, then you need to be like Sexual Chocolate, drop the mike, and simply walk away.

 

 

(image courtesy of CNN)

 

Unsocial Media

 

Tell the truth: when you hear that a friend doesn’t have a Facebook account, don’t you look at them with a side eye? If someone you just met tells you they aren’t on Instagram, don’t you feel some type of way?  If the guy you just went out with doesn’t know what Twitter is, are you thinking of brushing him off? If you’re a person who spends a significant amount of time on one or more of the aforementioned websites, imagining a person who DOESN’T spend time on these seems a bit odd. You may even start to think they have some type of social issues, perhaps being introverts who have few friends and family, because these sites bring you closer to everyone, right?

The world of social media has definitely taken this world by storm. If you ask anyone to define the term, they would say something along the lines of this: the overall interaction of people through networking on various online websites, geared towards reconnecting with friends, family, colleagues, and creating new networking opportunities. If you asked someone to keep it real and tell you what social media truly is, they would describe to you a universe of self-taken photographs, narcissism, secret stalking, time-wasting, selective life-sharing, abusive over-sharing, and a place that gives stupid videos a larger audience, and longer shelf life than necessary.

You probably know of someone who is utterly consumed by all of these sites, and often cannot go a day without logging on, posting on their wall, re-tweeting, or filtering their 30th photo of the day. This person sounds completely crazy and you might even make fun of them- but you do it all the same and it just may be YOU. As you try to defend your um, “friend”, or yourself, you might plead to the skeptic that Facebook allows you to connect with your high school buddies. Twitter lets you share your thoughts without all the extra-ness of the Book. And Instagram is a cool way to post pictures to share with said friends and family. Again, it’s all about connection, right?  You’re closer to your people, right? WRONG. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

Think about it. Try and recall the last time you were out to dinner with your friends. I’ll give you my own example- last night. I went out for a party, and while at dinner, the majority of the table was on their phones all at once. Now, this is not a knock on anyone, because I was on mine too. I felt the need to send a picture of my margarita with a bachelorette party themed straw in it to my buddy. I thought it was hilarious and felt that in THAT moment, he really needed to see this photograph. Well, because he wasn’t there and of course his life would not go on if I didn’t send him the pic. After I made a few people blind with the flash on my camera, I looked up and smiled. The smile came from a sense of hilarious embarrassment, as I made a comment to the group inquiring what on Earth we did without smartphones. We all kind of just of just laughed and said we talked to each other more. And that night, there was definitely a lot of conversation, laughter, and general fun, but the phone distraction was always lingering. Whatever happened to just living in the moment? When did it become so crucial to let everyone else know what we’re doing right at the moment it happens? and send them a picture of it in the best of lighting?

I feel this is the most ironic aspect of “unsocial” media. Rather than allowing the universe to learn of events in a normal sequence of time, we have now grown accustomed to letting everyone know what’s going on RIGHT NOW. Even if you are not the most forthcoming individual, you now have it ingrained in you that you must tell everyone who wants to pause their newsfeed that you got engaged or that your child pooped for the first time. I must reiterate that there is nothing wrong with sharing this type of information. I’ve blogged previously about avoiding “selfie” hate and also have a general feeling that everyone should be able to do what the F they want. However, this need to instantly provide this information to everyone has taken out the true joy of a lot of the feelings, emotions, and events.

I truly think that people forget that they are sharing these precious moments with people who probably shouldn’t be so privy to this information in the first place. For the avid social media user, your “friends” list or people you allow to look at your photos is definitely a larger list than the people who you have on speed dial in your phone. Granted, you accepted that friend request from the guy who had a crush on you in 3rd grade and he looks to be a cool guy, but should he really be a part of your moment when you post your ultrasound photo announcing to the world you’re having a baby boy? Is your coworker’s kid sister who you hung out with at a party once seriously special enough to learn that your boyfriend asked you to spend the rest of your lives together? Which leads to my last question, if you’re freshly engaged and Facebook/Instagram/Twitter had not been created, what would you do? That’s right, you’d call your mom and then your BFF next- and have a CONVERSATION about it. You might even visit them. Because that’s the way it should be- not the first thing your ex-boyfriend sees on his newsfeed when he wakes up in the morning.

 

Picking Up The Scent

The last time I had an actual boyfriend:

  • “If You Had My Love” By JLo was a #1 hit
  • “The Blair Witch Project” was the surprise movie hit of the year
  • I was rocking a silver, “No Limit Soldier” chain and thought I was pretty cool
  • Gas was around $1.17 per gallon
  • I was still having long, drawn-out AOL Instant Messenger sessions with my friends back home
  • I was drinking St. Ides Special Brews

For the last decade, I have been involved in several scenarios, arrangements, and “situations”. I never liked anyone long enough to call them my own, and during this tenure of single life, I was only approached sporadically. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Over the years, I’ve been constantly asked, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”, and I became sick of replying that no one ever really asks me out. Everyone would always say that they didn’t believe me; that I was being bashful, but it’s always been the honest truth.

I know many of you can relate to that odd phenomenon of never being approached when you’re single and hoping that someone will soon make you half of their Bonnie/Clyde, Ike/Tina, Kim Kardashian/Some Random Dude (maybe not the best examples, but hey, they were all couples). You are trying to patiently wait for love to come find you, but all you get is the weird guy in the corner of the bar, who smells funny and is currently “between gigs”. It’s as if the raw scent of singledom is man-repellant- something you spray on, resulting in the absence of any quality man-candy, and the attraction of the occasional gnat.

And then a miracle happens… love comes along, and knocks you right off your feet! You turn in your third-wheel card and boom! You have yourself a man!

I recently ended my drought of being the single one in the bunch, and got myself a boo. A Boyfriend. A man. A partner. A person who I can make do stuff. And I haven’t been happier. After countless horrible dates, questionable lapses in judgement, and about 5 male friendships ruined, I have a person again. But along with that, there’s been a renewed interest in me, which has been pretty much been absent since I was dating Usher’s dopppledanger in the summer of 1999.

Now, I’m not saying that I have never been approached over the years, because I most certainly have- but not to the degree of fervor that’s happening now that I’m taken. This recent interest in me has confirmed that there is a physical scent that newly, coupled women (and men) give off that causes the dogs, leeches, scallywags, and skanks to come out of the woodwork and try to ruin a good thing.

Men who never returned my phone calls are suddenly texting me out of the blue. Guys who didn’t make it to a second date are shooting me “Let’s get together emails”. The chaps I used to fawn over who didn’t give a second look are now falling over themselves to talk to me. Where were you people when I was going to Kings of Leon concerts by myself? Why were you not around when I was chanting “Let’s Go Heat” with an empty seat next to, pretending that my “friend” was running late? I must also divulge another side effect of  what I like to coin “The Fresh Off the Market Scent”. The aura around me has also lured a freakishly large number of married and taken men. What is that all about? They should be the last ones approaching attached women, but apparently I have an iridescent hologram flashing “JUMP-OFF” on my forehead. And they won’t go away. Some of them actually think that they’re going to get somewhere. Must we revisit Delivery Boy from the Valentine’s Day fiasco? He questioned the validity of my newly minted union due to the impending Doomsday- perhaps that was his way of trying to get a date. EPIC FAIL.

And women aren’t the only ones who give off this scent. I imagine that it’s even worse for unavailable men. We’ve all heard of the “ring” trick- this involves single men purposely wearing a wedding ring in order to attract more women. And apparently it works. Which means our world is in a pretty sad state of affairs- no one wants you when you’re single, and everybody is scrambling for you once you become attached. Perhaps it’s the thrill of the chase, or the excitement of going after the unknown. But a warning to all of those who want to chase after danger: If you keep running after something that belongs to someone else, you may end up with one of two things: heartache and/or a prescription (no explanation needed).

 

Watch My Throne


“The pinnacle of success can be determined by one’s access to their own private, office restroom.”

How do you know that you’ve made it in the corporate world? Is it the CEO title after your name? Your moniker on all the office letterhead? The corner office with the view? The hot assistant with no brains, but who wears those pants you like? You may think that those extra zeros in your paycheck or use of the company’s expense account means that you “made it”, but it’s actually the use of your own water closet that let’s the world know that you’re a BOSS.

This concept may sound completely absurd, but let’s sit back and think about this for a minute. When I worked for the University of Miami, I worked in a two-story building with limited bathrooms. Although I was lucky enough to work on the first floor that only housed three departments and MAYBE 20 people, it was still unheard of to take care of one’s business in the sole bathroom on the 1st floor. Let’s just say if one decided to do the deed on site, you were found out pretty quick- plus no one would eat with you for a week.

Everyone in my office joked about having their own “secret spot” hidden away on campus that they could go to if things got out of control. None if us ever revealed our locations, in fear that someone else would steal our secret loo spot and our sanctuary would be no more. Our office was located on the far end of campus, away from civilization and most foot traffic, so many of us had to trek quite a hike to reach our destinations. There was also an unwritten rule amongst us to never question the length of time someone was missing from the office.

My bathroom oasis was the newly built facilities on the Intramural Fields at the time. The great thing about this place was that it was ALWAYS empty and completely pristine- most of the campus didn’t even know it was there! And since students never played Ultimate Frisbee at 1pm, I was good to go! Mind you, I had several other options to choose from before I reached the fields, but all proved to be disappointments. Initially, I had to cut across the football practice fields (THAT’S A NO), the Sports Information Office (they only had 1 bathroom, where no one’s secret was safe), and finally through the tennis courts. Now, if anyone is familiar with the Schiff Tennis Center, you know there is minimal lighting in the women’s bathroom, and the places had the eerie feeling of being a back drop for a murder scene in a horrendous teen fright flick. Needless to say, I vowed NEVER to get too comfortable in a place like that, so the tennis courts were out. I hope they fixed that…

Now, I’m sure this woman doesn’t have to worry about searching through her office park to find a place to shut it down in peace. She appears happy in her office. Looks like she enjoys going to work for herself, and breezes through her day. This means that she most likely she does not work for $10 an hour, has her own toilet behind that glass window, and go to the bathroom at will! For goodness sakes, she sits on an exercise ball and has her feet all out. She’s living the life!

I’m sure there are people out there who don’t give a “crap” (THE IRONY!) about going to the bathroom at work. But I believe that everyone can definitely relate to experiencing some hesitancy when it comes doing the their dirty work AT WORK. Call me Emily Post, paranoid, or just plain weird, but I refuse to conduct my bathroom business at the office if it is not absolutely necessary. I am fortunate enough to live literally 3 minutes away from work, and can be seen sprinting away from my cubicle during the lunch hour. Unfortunately, I can no longer fool the receptionist at the front desk who has seen me go off to a “business meeting” at home, like 10 times.

In the instance where I am unable to make it to my boardroom at the crib, I liken myself to a Marine carrying out a Black Ops mission when entering the ladies’ room. I check for other occupants, the time of the day, and the severity of the mission at hand. You know the drill. You go in, wait for the last person to leave, then run into the last stall like your life depended on it. You ponder if you are actually going to do this, and pray that no one walks into the restroom. Just as you are about to exhale, you hear the door open. You gasp, and then pray that all she does is wash her hands. But she doesn’t. She takes her sweet time, as her best friend saunters in to wash her Tupperware and reapply her lipstick. You think you can hold out until they leave, but they continue to chit-chat about homegirl’s recent gallbladder surgery and her cats, all named after the Jackson 5. You realize that you just.can’t. do.this, and sulk out the stall, realizing that your 15-minute trip to the bathroom will only result in a measly hand-washing. On the flip side, if you are ever successful in your mission, you hope that you will be able to escape the restroom without anyone having an inkling of what just happened. I have such a distaste of doing such a thing at work, that I’d rather fake morning sickness than having Anne from Payroll know what just occurred in the handicap stall.